The Year of Redemption

Chapter 66: You Hear a Song

"Thanks for today, and every day," Cas murmured, facing towards Dean on his side. "You are the most wonderful person, and I love you to the end of the universe and back."

Dean rolled to his side too and tried to find Cas's eyes, but the angel found his first. The hunter's hazel greens glowed in the light of the fire with a sort of trepidation, disbelief. "What?" Cas asked.

Dean knew he wasn't going to hide from the angel. Castiel had already seen it in his eyes, it was just a matter of time before the angel wore him down. "I just... I don't understand how you can love me so much," he admitted honestly.

Cas rolled to his back, perplexed, having no idea how the hunter didn't see it, how Dean could always manage to bring himself down like this. "Dean, don't go there... please," Cas pleaded.

Dean looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry," he said, falling to his back beside Castiel as well.

Cas gazed at him, immediately regretting what he had said. He rolled back to his side and laid a hand on the hunter's chest. "Dean," he exhaled, shutting his eyes for a few seconds and then reopening them. He let his heart guide the way, the words spilling out with no filter at all.

"There is not enough time in the universe to list all the reasons that I love you," he murmured, moving his hand up to Dean's cheek and coaxing the hunter's face just far enough up so that his eyes met the angel's.

"It's like, every single thing about you, every expression that blesses your face, every word that passes your lips, every thought that crosses your mind, every small, insignificant movement... suddenly my whole world hangs on that one moment."

"And it feels like everything is on fire and my entire body is burning from the inside out, but it's ok because the only thing that really matters - the only thing that's ever really mattered - is you, and you're just there at the center of it all, beautiful and brilliant in your own way, the eye of the storm, and no matter what, you calm the flames and make everything right again. Nothing makes as much sense as when I'm with you. You are my every moral I hold dear, my every star that guides me."

"And you are beautiful, every single part of you. Not even the light of the brightest sun could compare to how you shine when I look at you. I see your soul, I see your past, I see your mind, your heart, your will, everything."

"I see the way you look at yourself, the doubts, the insecurity, the regret, and I love it all, Dean. I honestly, unconditionally love it all. Even now, just looking at you, I can't help it, how it swells in my heart and ignites my chest, how I just want to touch you, kiss you, hold you, show you. I swear there will never be a second that you don't give me a reason to fall in love with you all over again."

Dean's eyes were misty. He took a few seconds to regain his composure. "Do you ever wonder why I love you?"

Cas nodded. "All the time."

"That's why," Dean said, thinking about all of the things Castiel had just admitted and letting several tears spill over. Cas kissed them off of his cheeks. "You are amazing, angel," the hunter told him.

"So are you, angel," Cas whispered softly.

Dean was putty in Castiel's hands. He instantly melted as soon as the angel looked at him, whispered a promise, used any sort of endearment. Angel. There was nothing that would ever convince Dean that this was even partway true about himself, but it still tugged at something deep within him whenever Cas said it. He could never get enough of the angel's affections, never enough of his perfect love.

"Cas?" Dean started, and the angel looked at him intently, focused solely on whatever he was about to say. "Whenever you want to touch me, kiss me, hold me... don't hold back, ok?" he asked, adding, "Ever."