Kill Me Now (Modern Cliches, #1)

The (Second) Kidnapping

In which Fergus kidnaps me, saving me from the evils of running, to complete his 'dastardly' plans.

Hopefully not to create an army of lederhosen wearing people. I cannot pull lederhosen off! Its like mauve! We just don't mix. 

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I was getting a bit sick of running. I never ran, running was for machines or people who believed they were machines. Running was the devil.

But still I ran because Vince told me I had to. I still couldn't find that fucking safe place. If I would have been given a description I would have known what to look for but noooooooo. Hunky had to be all cryptic.

I slowed down, my legs wanted to give out from under me.

"Going somewhere?" At the amused voice I gave a small screech, leaping backwards.

"Holy jesus fucking shit!" I landed on my ass, my arms flailing wildly on the way down. My eyes darted around... well eye. My right one was pretty much swollen shut. I could still see out of it but it was pretty much not helpful.

"Scare you?" He stepped out of the trees and I relaxed. It was only Fergus. He was still wearing the lederhosen but I allowed myself a moment to stare at his well muscled form. Werewolves were fucking stacked. Just UMMMMMPHFFF!

"Thank god you aren't Peanut Brittle." I panted slightly, my heart was racing from my run and I pressed a hand to it. My legs were not letting me get up either so I figured sitting was a good thing to do at the moment.

"Peanut Brittle." His eyes were cold as he raised an eyebrow. I shrugged slightly.

"Your brother. Because, you know, he's nuttier than peanut brittle." I almost got a smile out of him. His mouth was twitching but he had impeccable self-control.

"Trouble in paradise?" He crossed his arms over his chest and my gaze was drawn to them. Mmmmmmm muscles.

"Is Hell considered a paradise?" I flicked my gaze up to his and he frowned in confusion.

"No..." He gave me an almost wary look.

"Then no. Things are pretty much status quo in Hell." It was the truth. Hell was bound to have troubles so every single problem was pretty much how it was supposed to go. Well minus the fire and brimstone.

"Hell?" He said it slowly and I nodded.

"Yah." It wasn't a difficult concept. He surely understood how his brother was.

"You are mated to my brother." Annnnd apparently he didn't. Being a 'mate' to someone didn't give them the excuse to be an utter asshole.

"So he says." I didn't believe him so I was constantly surprised when everyone else did. It was stupid.

"Well. I'm kidnapping you." He moved closer and I frowned.

"Can you really kidnap the willing?" It was a good question. I wanted to know the answer to it.

"Wait what?" It was like he did a double take and I let out an aggravated sigh.

"If a person is willing to go with you. Is it truly kidnapping?" Was it? I was fairly certain it wasn't but maybe it was. I didn't know. I was new to the whole kidnapping shtick.

"Why would you be willing?" He seemed genuinely confused and I scowled at him darkly. Well as best as I could with the face his brother had fucked up.

"Do you see my face? This swollen eye didn't just fucking appear." I jabbed my finger at it angrily. "Your brother punched me in the face because he was upset. Why wouldn't I be willing to go with you?" I glowered, crossing my arms over my chest.

"He hit you?"And confusion turned to an almost aghast expression and I wanted to roll my eyes but with how badly my right eye hurt, I figured it would be a bad decision.

"Yes." It wasn't a difficult concept. Anyone who knew Alpha Dick Cheese probably already knew his abusive, psychotic tendencies so it shouldn't have been surprising. "Now can you get on with kidnapping me? I'm trying to outrun him but with my eye all swollen, I can't see much of anything in the dark." I got to my wobbly legs and tried to ignore how they ached.

"Okay?" He looked a bit apprehensive and I stared at him intently before I gestured.

"Well get on with it. Do you want me to fight a little bit or are you okay with me following behind you?" He looked a bit flustered at my words and I wanted to laugh. Lederhosen wearing muscular werewolf was flustered because of a human.

"What?" He stared at me and I huffed slightly. People were always asking to have things repeated when I knew they knew exactly what was said.

"The kidnapping? Do you want me to pretend that I don't want to go with you or are you okay with me just coming along without a fuss?" I honestly preferred not to make a fuss. I was too tired to even pretend to fight him off.

"I was prepared for a fight to be honest but if you just wanted to come along that's okay." He was looking at me funny and I waved it off. The dude should have been thankful I was making it easy for him.

Be it kidnapping or orgasms, I guess guys just couldn't stand a faker.