StarLit / Yaoi

StarLit / Chapter 10

For the first time in my life, I couldn't fall asleep. No matter how many times I turned, how many sheep I counted, nothing would get my conscious mind off Yasuma. I kept asking myself "is he fine" without having the answer to this. I continued to beat myself over the fact that I couldn't reach out and stop his uncle from snatching him right up. Even when I went back to the shrine to watch the fireworks, they asked me where Yasuma had gone. I answered with a lie. For the first time, I spoke a lie to these adults. I just said that he went go home. Never once did I mention his uncle or the other guy standing behind them, or the terrified look on Yasuma's face. That would surely destroy my perfect karma.

That morning I went to school with horrible red eyes and a killer headache. Never in my life have I ever felt sleep deprivation, but my God was it like hell. I couldn't focus on a single thing, actually I couldn't focus on anything. Thoughts seemed to run around aimlessly in my head without rhyme or reason. The softest of noises seemed to become toxic and sent me off into a horrid mood. My eyes couldn't seem to stay open, yet they wouldn't shut. And only one coherent thing played on repeat the entire first period. Yasuma Yuki. I needed to know if he was okay.

After class the school was eating lunch. I took this time to go to his classroom and ask around for him. Everyone knew him by name and by his rumors surrounding him, but no one seemed to know where he was. These rumors all included horrible things like, he'll sleep with anyone, he sleeps with his uncle, he's actually a girl pretending to be a guy. Some of them got too graphic that I permanently forgot about them and moved on, but one thing was certain about this group of boys. More than fifty percent of the classroom was waiting to sleep with him. Honestly, I found that more disgusting than the time a rat got stuck in the air vent and died there. The entire school smelled like a decomposing corpse, but at least that was less horrible than what they wanted to to do Yasuma.

I walked around the school for a while, keeping a good look out for him as I did so. I probably circled the school about ten times before I came to the conclusion that he wasn't here. That did not give me a good feeling. So, in the hopes of maybe getting some sleep, I went to the courtyard to hide behind my favorite bush. My tired ass was just about to sit when I jumped up to see someone sleeping there with the most exhausted look ever. Thankfully, it was Yasuma. He must have came to school and went straight for the courtyard to sleep.

I sat beside him, leaning down so the passers by couldn't see me, and stared at him. It really gave me relief to see that he was perfectly fine, or at least he was alive. I could see that the cuts around his wrists were worse, like someone had tied him up recently, and his right cheek was a bit scratched. His chest moved up and down, every once in a while he would make a strange noise and adjust himself. I finally found it in myself to relax and lay beside him. He wasn't okay, but he was at least alive and right beside me. That's all I wanted.

A good few hours had passed when I woke up to see Yasuma's face right next to mine. His eyes were still closed and soundlessly sleeping. I covered my mouth to yawn and peered my head out to see if anyone was in the hallways. No one was. Next I checked my phone and saw that in just a few minutes school would let out. I smiled and lay back down to watch him sleep.

Suddenly he started fidgeting and opened his eyes. He jumped back slightly, surprised to see someone laying there, then calmed down when he saw it was me. "Shiro..."

"Morning" I whispered exhaustively. "Were you tired?"

His face tinted a fine pink, but he nodded anyone. "I'm fine now. What about you?"

I shrugged. "You know me. I always sleep"

He smiled. "That's good"

I really, really wanted to mention his uncle, but I was scared that might turn him away or spark memories of whatever happened that night. "Yasuma... I want to help you"

His smile faded and he looked at the floor. A few twigs poked him and he readjusted. "What can you do?"

"What he's doing to you is a crime, Yasuma. He can't keep getting away with it. You need to tell someone. A cop or something. You don't deserve this"

He tired to hide his face, but I could see the tears that fell from his glistening pale orbs. "He says I do"

"He's a liar. He doesn't care about you. I care about you. And I say you don't deserve this"

"But-" He looked back up at me.

"No" I kept my ground with a stern look. I didn't want to paralyze in fear again and let him get hurt. This time, I was going to do something about it. I would keep the promise I made when we first met and stop this dead in its tracks. I wanted to see him smiling and yelling just like he did when he was content with me and forgetting his uncle.

Yasuma fell silent, unaware with how to reply. "But what if they don't believe me?"

"What do you mean? Of course they will"

He shook his head. "I once told on him. When I was little and he was touching me all over. I got really scared so I pushed him away and he let go of me. I ran to the door and found one of the police boxes. I told the man at the box everything and he asked for my uncles number. They called my uncle and he took me back without getting a lecture by the cop. When we got back he beat me so bad I thought I was going to die. He said, 'if you ever try that again I won't hesitate to kill you'."

I couldn't help but let my eyes widen as he shared this story. "When you were little?" I couldn't believe that part of the story. Actually, I couldn't believe any part of the story. The police officer never did a thing to his uncle? He got beaten for it that he nearly died? Before I met Yasuma, I thought this kind of thing only happened in TV shows and movies. But these situations are as real as reality.

He nodded at my question. "I went to live with him when I was ten years old. He touched me down there for the first time on my eleventh birthday"

I felt a strange feeling. It was almost like a combination between comfortableness and fear. The more I heard the part of the story I hadn't before the more I wanted to abandon my promise. It felt so corrupt and tangled, like a poisonous lie no one wanted to touch. It was like, at any moment, I would get in far too deep to escape. I didn't want to help him anymore. But then he stared at me with those longing, sorrowful eyes. I didn't want to get involved, but at the same time I was far too deep to turn back now. Plus, the undeniable truth was I loved him. Before when I said that I didn't know if it was love or not, well, I eventually figured it out.

First there was this pain of seeing him taken from me and the anger I felt even thinking about him sleeping with someone else. The mere thought of him dating someone other than me had me furious beyond all comprehension. So, I suppose, if you were to ask what my reasons were, I'd say it was because I loved him. That was the undeniable truth.

"I'm going to get you away from him" I promised. "I don't care how I do it I'm going to get you out" I held out my pinky finger and he awkwardly wrapped his around mine. "Promise"