My Rants

Awkwardness

So, awkwardness.
There's so much to say about this.
To start off, my very main characteristic, like probably many of you, is awkwardness. Awkwardness is not necessarily a bad thing *nervous laugh*...
Actually it kinda is.

This may be the first reason of why I'm not good with socialisation and just leaving the house in general.
The thing is, whenever I'm with someone whom I do not know, or someone new, I either turn mute (like the 'dumb' person who only laughs in response when you talk to them) or I say extremely cringe-worthy things.

Among those cringe-worthy things will either be:
a) Something that comes out as very dirty and innuendo-like or,
b) Something which will make you question my sanity and intelligence.

Now, I do both of these things with people that I know well too, but as they already know me and know what they are on for, I do not mind or worry about it.
But with someone whom you just met seconds ago, it doesn't really sound welcoming. And the fact that I mumble all the time doesn't really make it any better.
Now, that's one thing for the awkward talking, which I actually already decided years ago to just not make eye-contact with anyone unknown unless extremely necessary, but it is on another whole new level to not know how to act whenever you're on your own.
I have this thing which I do any time that I'm alone (literally), which is talk to myself.
And by that I mean, literally, have a conversation with myself, a real conversation which you would have with another human being.
And nowadays, this characteristic just automatically turns on. I won't even notice I'm doing it unless I see someone eyeing me like I need to go to an asylum or something.

I could go on and on about this, but one thing in particular about my awkward ways of acting is not knowing how to walk when I'm alone.
Literally, if I do not pay extra attention to every step, I might as well fall down face-first everytime I try to move...

In overall analysis, it's very difficult to be awkward. But it's a trait of yours, and you have to embrace it no matter, I guess.

~

So, another chapter, kind of xD I hope that you enjoyed it :)
If you found this relatable in any way ( or if you just liked this chapter cx ), please give me a vote and maybe leave a comment down below on what you think about this, if whether or not I actually need to visit an asylum xD

Anyways, I hope you're having a great day and a nice time, thanks for reading!
~Boo❤