Sitting here in my bed staring at my computer trying to write for The Life I Wish We'd Lived I can't even form a single sentence. My stomach is in knots and my head is spinning. I miss him so much. I miss his laugh, I miss our lame nicknames for each other. He was Kitty, I was Boo.
Sitting her typing this I am blinking away tears. I'm usually not so affected by this but I miss him so much. Maybe it's because it's almost his birthday,he would be 21. The one person who can really help because he knew him but not overwhelming so, is not speaking to me.
Most of my friends either didn't know him really at all, just knew his name, or they knew him all to well like me. He is the one who knew him but only to a certain extent. I can talk with him easily about all the things I miss and not have it be a continuous conversation. It can be just random fact.
JT your death has been tearing me apart. I can't shake it. I can't shake how much I miss you. At least one thing reminds me of you every day. I've lost track of the songs I've cried through because they made me think of you.
I'm sitting her and I feel almost...empty? Numb? I am not sure how I would receive this terrible feeling. I just know that my eyes keep focusing on something far away and I sit motionless for what feels like eternity.
4/30/2016
Friends reading this...I don't really wanna talk about it...
YOU ARE READING
Midnight Memories
RandomFrom letters to my, to notes from my darkest times with anxiety and depression and finding out who my real friends are going into adulthood.
