Do I wish I was with him? That's a loaded question. He was my best friend, so of course I wish he were here.
He was a part of my life for eleven years. There's no way that I cant miss him.
Frankly. If he was here, you probably wouldn't be. Don't make me choose. Its an impossible decision. Because if I could bring him back it wouldn't only be for me. It would be for his younger brother, for his mom, for his best friends. We were a tight group and we fell apart without him. Don't make me choose because it might just be him, and that sucks because he is gone. I cant bring him back, no matter how much I want to. At the same time, even if he were still here there's no guarantee I'd be with him.
You ask me if I wish I was him instead, and I guess I do in some sort of way. I wish I was with him in the way of two best friends could be together. I wish we could sit down for dinner or go to a movie and just talk. I want to tell him about school, about what I've done in the last two years, I just want a hug. I miss him. It's not that I miss being "with" him.
Yes we had a pact that never got followed through on and I do wonder, but I will not chose. Because that's not a fair choice.
YOU ARE READING
Midnight Memories
RandomFrom letters to my, to notes from my darkest times with anxiety and depression and finding out who my real friends are going into adulthood.