Still Hurting

4

I know I shouldn't be here. I should still be in London shooting. I blame it all to the phone call I made to Andre yesterday. I don't know if it was intentional, but he let slip that he's not with Yassi and that she is out wedding dress shopping with Nadine. I was not able to think straight after that. I just found myself at the airport buying tickets going to New York and cancelling all my appointments for the next two days.

And here I am at the Tribeca Rooftop. I scanned the venue and my vision immediately zoomed in to that one woman sitting alone at the far end – a perfect place if you want to keep a low profile. She was looking lovingly at the dancing couple at the center of the dance floor, tears flowing down her face.

I slowly walked towards her.

Fuck, James... Do you really wanna do this?

I clinched my fist as I walked towards her. I've been waiting for this for a long time and I've come a long way. I'm not gonna back out.

She started wiping her tears and I took it as a cue to make a move towards the seat next to her.

"Can I sit here?" I managed to pipe out.

I saw her stiffen. She turned – shock etched all over her face. I was also surprised myself – I expected her usual piercing, happy, twinkling eyes, but what I saw were dark, lonely eyes. She looked like she lost weight. Her cheeks and collarbones sticking out.

I felt pain in my chest. All I wanted at that moment is to reach out and hug her. But no. I have to stop myself...

"Nadine, it's been a long time"

I don't know how long but we just stared at each other.

"...James", she managed to say.

"GOOOOOOD EVENING AGAIN, EVERYONE!!!" came Andre's booming voice.

It startled the both of us and without a word, we both turned our attention towards Andre who is sporting a mischievous smirk as he looked around at their guests.

"Just because this is not your typical wedding, it doesn't mean that we are ignoring traditions. So guys... as discussed..." Andre announced as he raised his hand as a signal to the venue's staff. The waiters walked towards the exit doors and closed them.

Everyone was quiet as they looked around. Confusion and excitement all over their faces.

I tried looking at Nadine from the corner of my eye but she just sat there like a statue looking straight at Yassi and Andre.

Once all the doors are closed, Andre spoke again, "We don't want anyone to escape this next activity..." he was moving his eyebrows up and down. Yassi was laughing beside him, her arm around Andre's waist.

"I would like to call all the single ladies and single men for a quick photo" a combination of squeals and groans (mostly from the men) can be heard across the rooftop.

"You know what's coming up, don't you?" Yassi said, clearly amused. "If you don't want us to single you out and call you by the name, please come forward."

Nadine immediately stood up and walked fastly towards the dance floor.

I huffed and stood up and followed her.

Worst timing, ever...

____________________________________________

I'm always game, but this is not really the right time. For some reason, I lost in the game they prepared for the single men where we have to suck and drink the beer inside baby bottles. I might have the worst luck ever as I got the baby bottle with the tiniest hole ever.

Shit!

And now here I am putting this stupid lace garter up Yassi's cousin's leg. Darn, I want nothing but to go back to the table and talk to Nadine. We have a lot of things to discuss.

I glanced back to our table and it was empty. Panic ran over my body.

Where is she? Fuck, I didn't come from London and cancelled my appointments so she can escape me again.

Then I saw her. With her head bowed down, she was standing next to one of the closed doors. Thank God they're still not letting anyone out.

The moment the activity ended, the waiters opened up the doors and Nadine ran out immediately. I hastily said my goodbyes to Yassi's cousin and ran to follow Nadine.

            Go and hide and run away

I was looking around as I exited the venue. I can't find her... then I heard a rushing sound of someone running in heels to my left and I was able to glimpse the end of Nadine's shawl as she turned towards the corner.

She just entered the elevator when I reached her. I grabbed both her hands and stooped down to look her in the eye.

"Nadine, we need to talk, please" I said to her forcefully, I almost shook her.

"James, let me go, please... there's nothing to talk about" she begged.

She was fighting her way out of my hands but I did not let her.

            Run away, run and find something better

            Go and ride the sun away

"We're done talking, James. We've already ended it all, remember" she reasoned out

I shook my head, disbelief and frustration almost taking over.

"Please, let me go. You're already happy with your life, and I'm ok with mine. There's nothing to talk about – tears flowing down her cheeks nonstop.

            Run away like it's simple

           Like its right...

I let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Still a bad liar, Nadine. You know very well that you are not happy. Not only can I see it in your eyes but I can also feel it... You are miserable..." I said and at the same time, she flinched and let in a sharp deep breath.

"Everything you said when we broke up? After all that happened after that? No, I'm not buying it anymore. I know there are reasons, DEEPER reasons behind all of it... behind all of this... And I want to hear all of them from you"

"No, you are not running away again. Spare us another two years of misery and put an end to all of this, please..." I said almost shouting.

She just stood there with her head bowed down crying...

*Ding*

The elevator doors opened and the beautiful lobby greeted us. I gently dragged her out of the lift still not letting go of her hand. I was leading her outside the building when she stopped walking.

She raised her head and I looked at her tear-stained hollow face.

"You're right... We need to sort this out..." she said quietly then tugged her hand out of my grip.

She slowly walked back towards the elevators and turned. Her dark lonely eyes looking at mine.

"Let's talk... but I have a request."

"What is it?" I asked.

"This is our friends' wedding day. They worked real hard to make this a success. Let's give this night to them and not ruin it. Can we talk after the reception?"

I sighed and gave her a stiff nod.

She gave me another lonely smile and we slowly walked back to the elevators to our friends' wedding...