Kiss Me Goodbye

Chapter 33

The airport was too crowded. My flight was in half an hour and mom isn't here yet. Urghh. I don't want to be late. I can't afford to be late. I need every second I can get away of this place to try and begin my recovery. Not my physical recovery but my mental recovery. My wounds were healing perfectly I almost can't feel them anymore. Except for the occasional tingling I felt in my chest due to the healing wound everything was normal again. Well everything but my heart. That will never be the same again after him. Deep down I knew that wherever I went I was changed for life but what other choice did I have.

I was still lost in thought unaware of all the hubbub of the airport looking at the floor sitting alone waiting for my mother and my plane when a pair of feet wearing shiny black shoes stood in my line of vision which was my own crossed legs.

Following the legs in an upward direction to look at whoever they belonged to, I trailed my sight over a tux fitted rugged body until my sight finally fell over the sweetest honey eyed face I had seen and will ever see. It was the face I dreaded seeing ever again that's why I hadn't told Julia about my leaving so he wouldn't know. Yet here he is, and my heart was fluttering in a sweet tormenting rhythm. My meddling mother. She must have told him. I wanted to get mad at her but all I could do at the moment was look into his honey eyes and remember how to breathe again.

I couldn't keep myself sitting when all I wanted to do was look my fill one last time into his eyes. His once mysterious eyes were an open book to me now. He had told me his story. He had trusted me with his pain. He had opened up to me and then he had kissed me and involuntarily my fingers lifted to my lips as if I had just tasted his sweet flavor on my tongue.

No. I was falling under his spell again only to be disappointed. I should harden my heart.

"What are you doing here?" I asked unable to blink or look away still caught in his gaze.

His expressing eyes smiled as he said, "I knew you were leaving and I wanted to say goodbye."

That's it then. I knew I shouldn't hope again. But my heart refused it.

"Goodbye." I said tearing my eyes from his and looking at his shoulder instead to hide the pain that I knew he would see in them. I don't want him to see me vulnerable. I don't want to have any regrets. I want...

"Won't you kiss me Goodbye?" He asked and my heart stopped beating. Was he making fun of what I thought was my dying request? My eyes shot into his again but instead of hiding his emotions I could see his pain in his eyes, his restraint and regret. He was showing me everything in his heart.

"I... I..." I didn't know what to say and the tears just fell silently on my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I said apologizing for my emotional breakdown while trying to wipe them with my hands unsuccessfully but then my tears doubled as he took my hand in his and got down to one knee and I forgot all about wiping my eyes although the tears were spilling and contorting my vision of his beautiful face.

"I'm sorry." He breathed pained. "I'm sorry for being such an idiot and not realizing how stupid I've been earlier. I'm sorry for being stubborn, for doubting you, for saying all those dreadful things to you. I'm sorry because every time you're out of my sight I get worried, and every time someone looks your way I get angry and possessive. I'm sorry because I envy the clothes on your skin and the air that you breathe and the food on your lips. I'm sorry because... I love you.

"I'm sorry because even if the situation wasn't so twisted I still wouldn't deserve you. I'm sorry because I didn't kiss you when you asked me to and because I didn't go see you when you got better and because I didn't beg you earlier just to give me another chance." He paused to wipe his eyes and take a deep breath meanwhile I could hear myself sobbing openly and I fell to my knees in front of him.