This is a wasteland.

Walk of shame.

I woke up to the sound of the door opening, I panicked and sat up. Ross was sleeping like a baby beside me. I started to shake him to make him wake, he muttered something and turned around. I put all my power and pushed him out of bed, he sat on the floor and glared at me.

- What the fuck was that? He said a bit to loud.
- Someone's home! I whisper/yelled. His eyes grew wide and he started to put his close on and handed me mine.
- What are we gonna say? He looked nervous.
- That you came over last night to see a movie and we fell asleep.. I smiled proudly at my lie.

I walked out in the living room to find Rocky, does he live here now? I thought to myself.
- Hi Rockstar! I said with a smile.
- Hi monster, I didn't know if you were awake or not! He smiled at me as I sat down.
- I just woke up! I turned on the sound system and put in my phone.
- Hi bro! Ross came out and I started laughing.
- Ehm what are you doing here and what happened to you? Rocky furrowed his eye brows.
- What do you mean? Ross looked clueless at us.
- For starters your shirt is inside out and your hair is the worst I've ever seen! Rocky chuckled.
- I just woke up okay? Ross stated as he fixed his shirt and his hair.
- So you slept here last night? I wondered were you went last night! Rocky smirked at us.
- We just looked at a movie and we fell asleep nothing more I said and glared at him.

The day went by and Ross stayed, when Em got home we all decided to call the others to have dinner together. Riker and Ryland joined us but Rydel and Ratliff were busy so they turned us down. I heard the door open and I ran out in the hallway to hug Riker and Ryland but I got a bit to excited and both of them landed on the floor with me on top, I started laughing until I couldn't breath.

- What are you guys doing? I heard Rocky's voice.
- She's crazy man, she jumped us! Ryland stod up and looked confused.
- Sorry I guess I kinda missed you guys! I gave them a shy smile.
- I missed you to! Riker said with a smile.
- But you had company last night how could you miss them? Rocky teased.
- Fuck off will you! I said and glared at him.

We walked out in the living room to Em and Ross, Em had ordered chines food and they were talking. I sat down on the floor and everyone else were on the couch.
- So you had company last night huh? Riker smirked at me.
- Not like that! Ross and I had a sleep over that's all! I gave him a smile.
- Ross don't do sleep overs.. Unless it's something in it for him! Ryland looked wide eyed at us.
- Shut up will you? Ross looked irritated at his brother.

We had a blast and talked for hours, I decided to leave everybody to clear my head. It was coming up to a year now and I couldn't help but to feel anxious. I knew I would end up crying and I needed to tell Em before it was to late. I walked out on the balcony for a smoke, I needed to tell here without the others noticing. When I was done I walked out in the living room and tried to get Em's attention.

- Em can I talk to you.. My voice cracked at the end and everybody looked at me.
- Of course.. She looked worried.
We walked out in the kitchen and sat down at the table. She took my hand and I felt the tears burning..
- It's coming up to a year, in 4 days and I can't handle this.. I started to cry.
- It's okay, I'll talk to Rydel and tell them to push your classes and you can stay home this week..
- I'll have to go tomorrow.. I said quickly. But please talk to her I can't tell her.
- I know, I'll stay home from work if you want me to! She looked at me.
- No! I have to deal with this myself.. I gave her a quick hug and told her to say goodbye to the others and went to bed.

----------------------------

Today was the day I was going to show the routine with Ross for my class, Ross had texted me and said he was on his way and the kids would show up in about 30 minutes.

Just minutes after that Ross had arrived the kids started to pile up in the studio sitting down on the floor, I told them that this was a duet and that I already pick their partners. They nodded and everybody cleared the floor for me and Ross to preform.

I lost myself in the music as I always do, I was like the only to people there were me and Ross. We danced and everything were perfect. When we stopped everybody clapped at us.

The rest of the class went by fast and Ross helped out a lot, after the class he offered to drive me home and I accepted the offer, we sat quiet in the car.

- How are you? You just left last night without saying anything.. He kept his eyes on the road.
- I needed some time for myself, it's nothing! I said with a smile.
- Rydel told me that you are taking the rest of the week off.. He said quiet.

I was quite mad that he thought that this was any of his business, he drove up to the apartment and I got out of the car.

- I am but it's not your concern, I don't need anybody trying to save me! I spat and closed the door.

I ran up to the apartment an sat down with my back to the door and started crying, I've been holding in all these tears all day. I hated crying in front of people, the only one that I could be comfortable crying for is Em. I heard footsteps but I couldn't see through the tears, I felt somebody lifting me up and carrying me to my bed.

I just kept on crying and screaming, I knew this would be a hard week. This is my first year with out my father and I don't know how many more I could take.