Three Sides to Our story

You have the right to...

Its been almost three weeks since my last assignment and i still haven't heard from Z or Alex. It was a little weird. Without even realizing it i headed in the direction of my second home. It was mid-January and even though in the tropics we didn't experience winter, it was still chilly at this time of year. And grey absolutely grey. The kind of grey that reminded you of something left unpainted, the kind of grey that if you let it get to you made your life seem as a though it were a dull and meaningless thing. Persons like those in my squad had no problem with the weather as they could light up anywhere they went with their wacky ways and lunatic antics. However, someone like myself, someone who had lost a lot in life, someone who was forced to grow up before they even understood what the words meant, persons like me understood that the world was really and truly a fucked up place filled with fucked up people and that you had to know how to hold your own out in this cruel world or it would eat you up and spit you out.
Sighing i cursed myself for even thinking that way. My therapist(the-rapist) was going to be pissed that the pessimistic me was back. I couldn't help the fact that i was bi-polar...ok so maybe i could but in all honesty sometimes i thought what was the point of it all? Just then my phone buzzed, bringing me out of thoughts.

Where are you???- Mom

As always my mom texted to find out my wherebouts afraid that she might lose me too. Its been almost seven years since we lost my dad and even though mom and him had long since parted, i knew it almost killed her when she found out about his death. To be honest, it had killed me for real in an emotional way. My dad was my everything. He was always there for me no matter the circumstance and after his death, when i was just ten years old, i had to face the harsh reality that nothing, nothing lasted forever especially the things you wanted to last the longest. They seem to end even faster than the other things in life. When someone you loved is gone it's the little things you miss the most about them. The way they laughed or did silly things to make you laugh.
Shaking the memories that always made me cry from my head i dialed mom's number to let her know i'd be home late.

***
"Hey Alex. What's been happening?"

Alex, not having heard me walk in, gave a startled yelp when i got close to him. "Ay cramba! What are you trying to do?? Send me into a coma??"

I looked at him like he was delusional. I had literally slammed the door in my frustration for being so emotional on my way over here. "What are you deaf? I nearly broke the door when i slammed it shut. For a top ranking assasain you sure don't pay attention to your surroundings." i said while rolling my eyes.
"You know thats an outrageous lie! I take pride in my ranking and you of all persons know that i earned it by working my ass off!" he said with a scowl on his face.
"Don't try to be a bitch to me!" i sent a death glare his way. What was his problem anyway? This was not the Alex i knew and loved.
"Oh right i forgot you have the grammy award for bitch of the year for some years now. How silly of me."
His last comment cut me deep. Alex has always been sweet and cheery. Never had it cross my mind that he would call me a bitch. Even if he had no romantic feelings for me him and i were like family. At my silence he looked up to see if i was still there and the emotions i was feeling at that moment must have been clear because his expression softened as he reached out for me. I, however, took a step back and said through clenched teeth "don't you dare touch me."
Just then Z came downstairs "what's all th-" his sentence was cut short upon seeing me there. I hadn't call to say i was coming as i normally did, so i understood his surprise.
"Jam jam, i didn't know you were here. Why didn't you let us know you were coming?" he looked a little uneasy, which wasn't like the calm,cool, collected Z i knew. What the hell was going on?
"I didn't think it would matter." i was suddenly feeling like a small child being disciplined for doing something wrong. I hated the feeling. Z caught himself at that moment.
"Of course not...forgive me Jam Jam i was being silly." he gave a slight chuckle making his grey eyes dance.

"Well i'm glad to hear that Z because we all know i wouldn't just pop up out of nowhere if it wasn't something. I stopped by to ask about the package from my last assignment. I haven't heard anything on it for almost three weeks now."
Alex and Z exchanged glances that they both probably thought was too quick for me to catch. How wrong they were! Raising an eyebrow at Z i asked a question just with my expression.
"Er...it wasn't anything important."
"Nothing important?! I almost got my face shot off by some damn lunatic for something unimportant?! Don't insult my intelligence like that just because i'm a girl Z." i was filled with cold anger. Him and Alex knew something and they were keeping it from me. I felt hurt, i was one of the most trusted persons in the ranks and was pretty close to them both yet somehow i felt as though they didn't trust me enough to share the secret with me.
"You know what? Don't tell me about it...keep it to yourselves, i hope you choke on it. I'm out of here."
Z called out to me "young lady you have the right to remain here."
"Yea? And you have the right to kiss my ass." i said emotionless while flipping my middle finger at them. I walked out and slammed the door, but not before hearing Alex confornting Z "You need to tell her. She could get hurt if you don't."
I didn't stick around to hear the rest, instead i headed to my actual home.