Stella and the Boxer

Chapter 6

“Can we talk about your tattoos, instead?” I ask, already knowing the answer. “They are really interesting, you shouldn’t keep them hidden under sleeves all the time.”

“Stella,” he says, and I sigh.

“Okay,” I start. "But I don't want you to think differently of me. I mean, I know you're going to think differently of me nearly every time we hang out at first. It's only natural when you're getting to know someone, when you're learning so much at once. But—" 

He shakes his head, looking sympathetically at me. I allow myself a deep breath at the interruption.

"You don't have to prepare me," he says quietly. "I just want to know, to understand."

I take another deep breath, and then I begin.

“When I was really young, you could say that I was a bit sheltered. My parents and I got along well, I had a simple, sweet group of friends. I was really happy. But I was naïve. When I was fifteen, an older boy at school named Jason started to pay extra attention to me. He was cool and popular and I liked that he treated me like I was special, so we started dating. My parents were apprehensive because I was only fifteen, and they thought I should have been older before I started dating, but they trusted me.

“Jason was nice at first, we had a simple relationship and I liked that. I wasn’t very serious about him.

“He started trying to move things along more quickly, though. He convinced me to do things that made my parents angry, and then told me that they were just being controlling, and trying to break us up. He already had me at that point, and I let him alienate me. I was alone.

“My parent’s were upset that I wasn’t talking to them as much, we’d always been close. But thankfully, they were still watching me carefully. They noticed quickly when I started coming home with bruises.”

Charlie leans forward, looking away for a moment, and then into my eyes again. 

“So, when you said that 'it won’t be difficult to cover this one,' it was because you were used to it then? Trying to hide your bruises?” I nod and he looks downward to his lap, shaking his head ever so slightly.

“I know you aren’t like him, Charlie. But when I thought about seeing you training to fight people — I didn't know what to expect. I was afraid that it would remind me too much of that past. I’m not as unaffected as I’d like to be. And what’s worse, I suppress my emotions as much as possible, rather than dealing with them head on. It’s ironic, isn’t it? I want to help other people work through their problems someday, but I can’t very well help myself.”

“I think you’re doing well, Stella. Being abused, in any form, isn’t something that you just accept suddenly and move on from.” 

I know then that Charlie and I likely have more in common than he's let on. 

“I don’t want you to think that I’m afraid of you at all,” I say. “You are strong, intimidating even, to those who don't know you, but I trust you. I wasn’t scared at all today. I didn’t understand much of what you were doing, but I’m glad I got to see you doing something you love. The view wasn’t all that terrible, either.” I laugh a little, biting my bottom lip, and he laughs, too. I wonder silently if he is self-aware enough to know his own attractiveness.

“Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?” I ask. I should be leaving for my classes soon, but I’ve just told him my most personal story, and I don’t want to leave him yet. Besides, I’ve already missed my first class today; my grades won’t suffer from two more absences.

“No,” he answers and smiles.

“I’m feeling a little reckless, would you like to accompany me while I ditch class?”