Stella and the Boxer

Chapter 10

Charlie is watching my hands extra closely as I cut the vegetables so that they can be cooked.

“I’m not going to hurt myself,” I say, smiling, knowing that there is an actual possibility that I will.

“Just be careful, Stella. Please.”

Charlie tries to relax his shoulders and his brow, but he still looks very stressed.

“You said that to me the night that you saved me. Isn’t it strange that was only Friday, though?”

He finally starts to relax and smiles.

“It is strange. I was so angry when I saw that disgusting man on you like that. But I’m glad that I was there to help you, and I’m glad, too, because it gave me a chance to finally talk to you. I had given up on myself before that night, after you asked – “ Charlie trails off.

“After I asked what you trained for?” I question, “You could tell, couldn’t you? You could tell that I was scared?”

Charlie purses his lips a bit and nods, looking slowly to his feet.

“I thought that I’d ruined it too, when you didn’t come back to Lighthouse that whole week. I wanted to see you again, I always liked seeing you, for some reason.”

I smile down at the vegetables, now cut completely and ready for cooking, and think of how I always found strange comfort in Charlie’s regular visits. It’s ironic because he does come off as a bit intimidating, and me being so scared of everything – I should have feared him, but I never did.

I always felt like I should know him, like I did know him. And now I do, I feel like I know him so well. But at the same time, I want to know so much more. I could spend forever getting to know Charlie and still want to know more.

He notices that the veggies are ready and we move to his stovetop. He’s already thawed the chicken and we’ve been boiling the potatoes. I begin to cook the vegetables and Charlie takes on the chicken. He says he usually grills outside, but he’s cheating this time so he can help me season the vegetables properly.

As we begin to cook, he continues our conversation.

“I could tell that you were scared, and I hated myself for it. I wanted you – not in the way that I’d wanted girls before – I knew that I couldn’t have you the way that I wanted if you were scared of me and of what I do.”

“I’m not afraid of you now. I don’t think I ever really was, I was just… getting over an old habit. In fact, besides my brief panic before going to watch you at the gym, I haven’t felt afraid of anything lately.” 

Charlie laughs, “That was only yesterday, Stella, you still have time to get scared and run.” He laughs for only a second after, staring down at the grill top before his face turns into a sad frown.

“I hope I don’t decide that you’re scary any time soon, because I am in for a very miserable weekend, if so.” I try to lighten the mood, but Charlie stays serious.

“Stella, if you change your mind about coming to Charleston this weekend, I want you to feel comfortable telling me. You don’t have to feel obligated to come.”

“Charlie,” I roll my eyes, I can’t help it, “I want to spend the weekend with you. Just believe that, okay?”

“Okay,” He says, and he smiles again.

After we’re done cooking, we decide to go back outside to the porch swing and eat. Charlie carries our plates and his water out to the porch while I carry a cherry coke for myself and a bowl of food for Cooper, since I suggested that he eat outside with us.