I never really told anyone about how I felt when you left.
They all asked what happened and that they were rooting for us,
That they really thought we would be something.
I always just kind of told them what they wanted to hear;
"yes, I'm fine" "I am happy, he is happy"
I told them that i needed to let you go, but
I don't tell them that i can't delete our messages for the life of me,
I don't tell them that it hurt so fucking bad when you left,
I don't tell them that i wish everything could go back to normal even just for a second,
I don't tell them that the words "I love you" are pure torture whenever i hear them,
I just tell them what matters, what only ever mattered to me;
Your happiness.
All i ever wanted was for you to be happy, i just thought it could be with me.
Maybe it only hurts more is because you lied and said you were happy with me,
But the reason you wanted to leave was because you were unhappy.
I think i just need to close the damn chapter on him once and for all
Even if the chapter was long enough to be a novel itself
I have cried over you so many times before
I need to start putting myself first and find what i really deserve
Why am I still putting myself through this?
you don't deserve me or the way i treat you.
I need to let you go
I have to let you go,
There's nothing more I can do.
