i'm lost.
i feel like i'm in an endless abyss.
i thought i was getting better but i was just getting worse.
i stopped doing the things i loved like reading and writing.
i started looking for temporary escapes
a warm body to fill my need for attention
but after you've hit rock bottom the only way you can go is up.
life is scary and messy but i'm not ready to give up just yet.
i don't know who i am or what i'll become but i'm ready to face my fears head on.
they say heartbreak changes you but really it's just you changing you.
what people don't tell you is that you can't go back to what hurt you thinking it will heal you.
what hurts can never heal.
after my heart was broken i began writing about him as if he put the stars in the night sky. i wrote until my fingers ached and bled.
i thought of him as a hurricane or a drug
my drug.
now that i have moved on i don't describe him as such.
i see him as nothing but ordinary because he's just a boy.
a boy that didn't want to be with me anymore.
i'm sure he knows now that no one will ever treat him like a king as i did
but i know i'm better off and it's time to fix myself.
