aesthetic // (poetry)

before&after ;

.before

his eyes were like the sea,
vast, stormy, and beautiful.
their gaze rocked me, shook me,
elicited feelings i didn't know to be possible.

he battered me, bruised me, forced me to succumb to the waves,
waves that were quickly going over my head.
i stopped fighting the waves.
i stopped fighting him.

and i let him control my emotions.
i let his words effect me until i felt i couldn't breathe without him,
until it felt like my lungs couldn't work on their own anymore,
like if i didn't have his support they would collapse.

and they did collapse.
because when he left i couldn't breathe.
it felt like someone had shot me right in the heart,
like i was bleeding out, suffering a slow and painful death.

because "i don't care about you".
those five words broke me.
snap!
there goes my heart.
i shattered
into millions of shards,
and i had to learn how to pick up the pieces
without him.

after.

my lungs inflate
and i breathe
in two three
out two three
harder than it seems

but as steadily and surely as my breathing
i will be okay.
i am okay.
even without you.