A Supernatural Kind of Day

Chapter Eleven.

Cas's POV

          I watched Poppy go past Dean but I remained where I was. So many thoughts and emotions ran through my head and chest. I couldn't move, I laughed once at myself. How coincidental that the Winchester's found a way for Poppy to get home right as I told her how I really feel about her.

"I'm sorry pal but Sam had something right after Poppy came storming in," Dean apologized.

"Do you think she'll go home?" I asked. I had my own hopes but I Dean had to have the answer.

"I don't know but I guess we'll see.." I looked up at Dean and stood up.

"You were the one that told me to tell her how I feel and now she's leaving... I told her because you told me that I needed to," my voice got angry. I always hated that emotion but there was no stopping it.

"Yes you did need to tell her. Now that she knows maybe it'll give her a reason to stay," he didn't sound convinced.

"You think she should go home, don't you ?" I asked. Dean didn't blink, he wasn't going to lie to me, he pushed himself off of the frame of the door and stood in front of me.

"She doesn't belong here Cas - and I'm not saying that because I dislike her because I don't dislike her. I love having her here with us but Cas you saw her, she was outside crying, who knows how much she actually cries when we're not around. She's not happy, she's scared. I know she said she'd try for you and I believe she would have but I think that if we somehow manage to get the portal open you need to let her go." Dean's words didn't make sense.

"But.. I love her... I love her more than anything... and you want me to just let her go?" I asked. Dean sighed, bowed his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yes Cas... That is what I'm saying," he breathed. I could see that he didn't like saying these words.

"But why?"

"Because sometimes when you love someone you have to think about them first. Their well being comes first. I don't know if you remember but I was with Ben and Lisa. I loved them so much but when they got hurt... I realized that I had to let them go. I had to watch you erase Ben and Lisa's memory regarding me because it was the right thing to do. I still love Lisa but I don't regret what I did. I don't regret letting her go. Now you can obviously make your own decisions but just remember that sometimes love isn't enough, sometimes you need to let the ones you love go because it's what's best for them." Dean turned around and left. I understood what he meant but it wasn't fair... none of this was fair.

Poppy's POV

           In the library I sat next to Sam as he went through the process of how he found the portal and it's history, though I could really care less about that aspect of the portal.

"But get this the portal was made up out of a potion and incantation in latin. All we have to do is get these ingredients say the incantation and you're on walk away from home," Sam explained. Sighing I nodded, and tried to smile.

"Okay, let's get working on this," I breathed leaning forwards to see the ingredients.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah I'm great - just really focused on the portal potion,," I lied. "So it looks like we need this thing... Uh I can't pronounce it, Sam how do you say this?" I asked. My hands shook and scolded myself for feeling this way. Before this I rarely cried, not because I had some pride complex but because nothing emotional has really happened to me but now a days it felt like all I did was cry and it was embarrassing.

"Poppy why don't you let Sam do that he's good with the nerdy stuff. Come with to get some food I'll let you choose where we go," Dean's voice chimed in.