Life In the Fast Lane

Chapter 9

Niall's POV

Just then I began to regret those last words. "Amber, I didn't mean that last part. Please, I'm..."

"I just want to go home please." She said cutting me off.

"Ok." I said almost in a whisper. I walked towards her going to grab her hand but she crossed her arms instead. I opened the car door for her and leaned in and said "I'm sorry Amber." I bent down to place a kiss on her cheek and that's when I realized she had been crying. The light from the moon shone in her eyes and I could tell they were red. How could I be so stupid? I always ruin it.

The car ride home was quiet except for the occasional sniffle from Amber. The anger inside of me grew because I knew it was me that caused her to cry.

I pulled into the drive way and turned the engine off and unlocked the car. "Amber..."

"Thanks for tonight." She said cutting me off and opening her side of the door and hopping out of the car.

"I love you." I said right before she closed it and walked toward her house. I sat there in the drivers seat. I felt the tears start to fall to my cheeks. I pounded on the steering wheel with anger. I wish I could just do one thing right in this relationship. Just one.

Amber's POV

I sat on my bed and just let it all out. How could he say that to me? Of course I loved him. It's not my fault that I'm insecure. I try so hard to feel satisfied with the way I look but I never measure up to societies expectations. I couldn't help but think of the way that some of the fans treat me. They say I'm not pretty which helps nothing. The way they continuously put me down is sometimes more than I can handle. But I try so hard to face it every day because I do love Niall. No matter how many times I get texts and tweets and calls from people I don't even know telling me they hate me I just ignore it for Niall. He doesn't understand what I go through.

I woke up early the next morning. I had a morning class at 9am. So I got up and got dressed and left at about 8:15 which gave me time to stop for coffee. Today was going to be a busy day because I had classes from 9 to 2 and then work from 4 to 9. I wasn't excited for this day.

After my classes ended I headed towards my car. I have a jeep and I love it so much. I was walking towards it when I saw a guy on his phone leaning against the pole right in front of it. It was Niall. I crossed my arms and slowly continued walking towards my car. He looked up a few seconds later and stood up straight, no longer leaning against the pole. I walked up to him. His facial features were soft.

"Hi." He said.

"Hey."

"Can we talk please?"

"I have work at four."

"Please Amber."

I looked at him for a few seconds before saying "get in."

I drove to a nearby cafe. The drive was silent. I felt him look at me every few minutes. Once we arrived at the cafe we both got a drink and I got a muffin to snack on and we sat at a table in the back corner. A few younger girls around 13 noticed him and asked for his autograph.

"So..." I started.

"How has your day been?"

"Niall just get to the point please. What did you really come here to talk about?"

"Amber, I'm sorry about last night. I honestly did not mean it. I know how much you care about me and I care..."

"No you don't Niall." I interrupted. "You don't know how much I care about you. You couldn't possibly know because I've never told you exactly how much I truly care about you." I felt a tear role down my eyes. "I've kept a lot of my feelings hidden from you because I know if I told you, then you'd be upset with your fans. I know how much stress they can bring you. But Niall I can only handle so much hate..."

"What do you mean hate?"

"Your 'fans' constantly text and call and tweet me horrible things. I try so hard to live up to the worlds expectations. I try to be good enough for you in the eyes of the public but its never enough. I don't know how long I can take this. It didn't bother me before but now it's everyday that I have to deal with this." I started to tear up more than before.

He took hold of both my hands from across the table. "Amber you are the most amazing girl in my life right now. You need to stop trying to live up to their expectations. I love you for you. Isn't that enough?"

I couldn't speak so I replied with a nod. "You said I didn't really love you last night."

"I know. It was a mistake and I'm so sorry."

"You don't understand how much I love you. The crap I have to deal with everyday for you is more than you'll ever understand. If I didn't love you then... I would've ended this a long time ago."

"I know." He began to tear up a little. "That's why I feel absolutely horrible about last night." He pulled his hands away and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I didn't mean to say that last night. I just don't know why you don't see what I see. I wish you would because I think you're so beautiful."

I smiled at him and got up. "Let's go. I have to get ready for work."

Niall stood up and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and i cuddled close to his side wrapping my arms around his stomach. I felt comfortable in his arms. I felt safe.

We drove home. He held my hand and rubbed circles with his thumb. It was soothing. After a few minutes I was in my clothes from Rue 21. Whatever clothes i had from there were my uniform (I worked at Rue 21). Niall was sitting on the couch downstairs just playing with his phone.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"Just looking at twitter. They really are jerks to you. I never really looked. I just thought everyone would like you."

"Yeah, well let's go. I'm going to be late. And I still have to drop you off by the school to get your car."

We got back to the school and Niall stepped out of my car. He walked over to my side and opened the door. "Can we hang out tonight? If you're not too tired of course. Maybe we can watch a movie?" He asked.

"Ill text you after work and let you know."

"Alright." he leaned down an kissed me. "I love you, Amber."

I smiled at him. "I love you too."