Demons |¤| Lashton

Problems

"Mr. Hemmings was just experiencing mild hallucinations, that is all. No need to worry, Mr. Irwin."

The doctor's eyes were dead. His eyes didn't bother to scan my face for a response. They didn't move, they just blankly stared at my face. I refused to look him directly in his stupid dead eyes. My eyes wandered his frown lines on his forehead and the faint bags under his eyes and wondered what the world had come to.

He left the room shortly after that, realizing that I probably wasn't going to answer.

I was shaking like an old man, standing in the middle of Luke's hospital room. Partly because I was a nervous wreck and partly because I was in the room when Luke started his "mild" hallucinations. I was angry. Damn, I wanted to punch him so bad. I wanted to crush his throat in my hands, oh, for fuck's sake--

Slow down.

At first, it had seemed like Luke was sleepwalking. Maybe he was. His eyes were open, looking as if he could see. He sat up, and that was the only calm thing he did. From there, he became a frantic flurry, clumsily smacking and knocking over everything within reach.  He managed to disengage the side rails and climb out of his bed. Panicking, I got up to restrain him. I didn't know if I should call for help. Yelling seemed bad. When I finally grabbed onto him, he started screaming.

If I was a doctor, I would never lie about something like this.

I am scared. I don't know why I haven't packed my bags and left yet. I understand that we have to "stay together for the fans", but I really don't want to anymore. 

Luke is literally the end. The end of the band, the end of my life, the end of everything. But at the same time, I've ruined it for myself.  I've caused this. The consequences for being selfish are hard to pay.

Luke hasn't been in the hospital for very long, but we haven't played in a while. The other guys are never around. They're always somewhere else. They're visiting Luke when I'm not. I've been considering just not seeing Luke anymore.

Luke's surgery was supposed to be tomorrow, but the doctors are showing "concern" over his recent episode. If they don't do something soon, he's gonna kill himself accidentally.

Leaving the room, I wander back down to the reception and sign out.

I need a break.

__

"Here are your keys! Thank you for choosing Rent-a-Car, please remember to return your vehicle on time!"

I smiled at him, nodding at his words and uttering a word of thanks and exiting.

Two weeks. 

I had two weeks to drive anywhere. 

__

Ashton never told the boys about his impromptu car trip, and, quite frankly, he didn't want to. He really didn't care. Ashton didn't think his disappearance would matter. He was just sick and tired of this life. He wanted to go pretend that this wasn't the life he was meant to live.

Ashton decided he would head to Las Vegas. He didn't want to try and lose himself in some tiny deadbeat town.

4 and a half hours and 281 miles later (approx. 56 mph), Ashton was in Las Vegas.

This was really an impromptu trip. Ashton literally packed nothing. All he had brought was a half-full bottle of water, his wallet, and the clothes on his back. He had left his phone on the tour bus. 

This trip was about him trying not to care. This was an opportunity to try and let go of the boy that had him wrapped around his finger. No one knew he was gay except for his band mates, and that news hadn't ended well. That's how he had gotten into this mess in the first place.

And so at sundown, despite being tired, Ashton walked into the first bar he could find, determined to forget for just a little while.

__

The bar was a little too excitable for its size. Ashton never liked being around drunk people, but he went with it. He headed straight to the bar, eager for a beer. 

In the middle of downing his second drink while awkwardly curling his upper body over the bar to avoid attracting attention, Ashton received a tap on the shoulder. He reluctantly looked up to see a beaming Ryan Ross. Ashton was speechless.

"Well, well, well, look who it is! Care for a drink?"

"Absolutely."