Realization (L Lawliet)

Fifteen

I'm almost done with this story! I can't believe it! I started writing it not too long ago! 

And I just finished watching Death Note today...I was not prepared for the horrible deaths of Mello, Matt, and Mikami. Light's was actually pretty good, but I pointed middle fingers at Ryuk for an hour after that. 

I'm getting sad thinking about it...

    "You suspect me of being L? Why the hell would you think that?" L asked the second Nikola removed his hand. 

    "I don't know. That's what one of my other personalties is telling me. You know we all share the same mind and stuff they learn, I learn too." Nikola was still leaning over L, eyes wide. 

    "Really, Nikola?" 

    "Well, answer me. Are you L or not? It's okay if you are. I won't tell. In fact, I have a little secret of my own as well that you won't be too pleased with." 

     L sighed. "Tell me your secret first." 

    Nikola gulped, sitting back against his side of the wall. "Oh my god..." 

   "What happened?" 

   "BB became a serial killer because of me." 

    "Fuck." L felt dizzy. He closed his eyes, exhaling. "How?" 

    "He worked at a Rite Aid near here. I used to live nearer to that place, so I would stop by every day after school and grab a snack or ice cream. His shift ended around that time, so we would often talk. We learned about each other's pasts, and you were mentioned quite a few times. We didn't do much, until we both went to a party one day...he ended up getting drunk and spilling a lot of information he shouldn't have. A lot of people heard. See, this information would jeopardize the rest of his life, so he told me I would either work with him, or he would kill me. So I agreed. Our first mission was to get rid of all the people who had heard what BB had said at that party. The rest is history." 

    L covered his mouth. He stayed like that for a while until Nikola waved a hand in front of his eyes. He finally removed his hand and said, "I cannot believe that at all." 

    "Well, it's true. BB said so much about you during that party, when I saw you for the first time, I knew it was you that was L." 

   "What did he say about me? I'm curious." 

    "You're not mad?" 

    "I'm shocked...and impressed. You weren't even suspected, and I was solving this case." 

    "Actually, I did most of the killing. BB was too soft at the time. The first time he tried wielding a knife at somebody, he let him escape because he dropped the knife. I had to kill him. Shame, he was actually a friend." 

    "Then you're really good." 

   "But after he didn't need me anymore, I switched sides. I moved on, helping solve cases by sending anonymous information," Nikola paused, letting tears slide down his face, "I'll tell you what BB said about you, L, since you accidentally confirmed your identity." 

    "Whatever. Tell me, please." 

    "He sounded sad talking about you. He said you were a friend, a good one, but you failed to read between the lines. You weren't present when he needed you the most." 

    L hung his head. 

    Nikola continued, "he said he needed to be noticed by you. He said you needed to see how many lives you were destroying. I asked him how you had destroyed his life in detail, and all he said, 'I loved him so much I hated him.' He never talked about you like that again. He instead talked about how you would solve cases and stuff to help with our mission." 

    "So it wasn't a dream? He actually...liked me?" L asked, tears forming in his own eyes. 

    "Yeah, by the looks of it, he seemed desperate to get your attention. I will never forget the time he spelled out your name using his own blood on the wall of my room. Just saying, it took forever to clean up." 

    "Oh my god...this is not real." L hugged his knees, resting his head between his legs so that Nikola couldn't see his eyes anymore.

    L felt sick. He felt his fever coming back. What was this? Did BB actually care that much about him? Did L neglect him and refuse to see he needed him? "I'm a horrible person." 

    "No, you're not. Shut up. Even BB said you weren't, for such a hypercritical person."  Nikola leaned forward and wrapped his arms around L, who was now sobbing. "Besides, now that I've met the real you, I would never think that you were a terrible person." 

    "I'll never forgive myself..." 

    "You know what will make BB happy? If you solve this case and find this damned murderer. I will try to help, since I had to do with BB as well." 

    L lifted his head, looking at Nikola. "I don't believe this. This seems like a nightmare. No...it's a dream..." 

    

    L couldn't hear the rain anymore. It had stopped. He took one last look and Nikola and left, walking right out into the dark, soggy environment, taking the familiar route home...back to Watari, where he would vent out. 

    At least Watari would understand. This would change the course of the case, and L would no longer need to suspect Nikola anymore. All three of his more common personalties shared the same brain, and Nikola seemed to have knowledge of all three's thoughts. If one of them was the murderer, Nikola would certainly know that. 

     L saw the base and started running, sending water flying everywhere as he stepped in puddles. He pounded on the door. 

    Watari soon opened it saying, "Come in! You'll get hypothermia stuck in wet clothes like that!" 

   L nodded, stepping inside, hit by the warmth inside. 

   Watari came back with a towel, drying L off. "You don't look too good. What happened back there?" 

   "Nikola..." 

   "Get changed and tell me all about it." 

   L obeyed, trudging to his room. His mind was spinning, wanting to focus on both Nikola and BB, but unable to choose. 

    He shrugged off his jacket, throwing it to the side. His shirt was pretty much dry and easy to take off, but his jeans were another story. They were stuck to his skin and had to be carefully peeled off. He put on his house clothes and went back to Watari, who was sitting on the couch, looking ready for some bad news. 

    L sat down next to him, almost instantly being wrapped in two layers of blankets. He stayed silent for a while, just calming himself down, which was easy next to Watari. And then he explained everything.