Pure Love

Misunderstood

Riley's POV

I lost the baby. I know everyone feels bad but I'm the one who feels horrible-like it's all my fault. I don't know how to express it, I just feel it. I don't know what to say, it just all comes out as "leave me alone." Lucas knows me better, he knows I'm not ok and he's trying his best to help me but I don't know how to cooperate. After we dropped Maya off at her house we went home. As soon as Lucas parked I tried to rush inside. I got about halfway out of the car, until I was stopped.

"Riley, wait." Lucas said

"Lucas, I'm not in the mood."

"Please just talk to me." Lucas frowned

"Lucas I'm tired, I'm going to bed."

I rushed to our porch, I reached in my pockets and bag for my keys. Lucas has them-the doctor gave them to him because I wouldn't have been going anywhere.

"Riley, it's not your fault." Lucas put his hand on my shoulder

"Just open the door."

Lucas opened the door, he let me walk in first. I made my way to the kitchen to get some water. I turned around and Lucas was right behind me.

"Riley, I'm here for you." He smiled

I couldn't help but feel more tears start to fall down my cheeks.I know he would never leave me, but I'm scared I might lose him.

"L-Lucas, I can't."

"You can't what?" Lucas asked

"I don't want to talk about it!"

A tear trickled down my cheek.

"You have to! It's not healthy if you keep your emotions locked inside." Lucas stared

"Fine! I lost the-the baby!"

My heart sank, my eyes filled with tears. I fell to the floor sobbing, Lucas stood there for a minute. I didn't realize he was crying as well. I can't control myself, I felt so empty without my child. I never even got to experience motherhood-not even for a second.

"R-Riley, your not the only one hurting. It effected Maya and I too." Lucas bent down

I looked away, I can't stand seeing him cry. I could feel his eyes stare right through me, I hid my face in my arms. Lucas rapped his arms around me and kissed my head. I love him so much, but I hate seeing him cry because of me. I want to hug him back and tell him "I'm sorry" beacuse I didn't want to admit I was hurting. I know he wouldn't judge me but still, I don't want to hurt him.

"Riley, I know your upset but we have to work through all of this." Lucas whispered

"What d-do you mean?"

"We need to plan a funeral, just a small one. We don't need loads of people there, just you, Maya, your parents, my parents, and Farkle." Lucas explained

"Ok, where will it be? And when? I'm just tired of feeling like crap."

"It will be in a church, maybe next week."Lucas hugged me tighter

"Oh, ok."

I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on but I better try, because I don't have a lot of time to get happier.

"I love you Riley, but I'm tired so I'm gonna go to bed." Lucas stood up and walked to our bedroom doorway

"Riley, I love you." Lucas said

"I love you too."