The Darkness Inside

15

It's been 5 days, 14 hours, and 12 minutes since I spoke to Jared last. I've not seen Carter. The only person that I can really talk to is Blake. I've told him everything that's happened and he's helped me get the motivation to get up in the morning.

There are more cuts. My arms never fully heal, but I cut them anyways.

I miss things before. I miss Jared. I miss Karol. I miss my dad.

I write letters. My mom, Elizabeth, and Blake. I wrote one to Jared, but I'll leave it on his voicemail because he never answer when I call. I don't want to live. Nobody loves me. In a waste of space in this world.

I dial Jared's number and the voicemail sound beeps.

"Jared Trace Hank. I'm calling because I have to say goodbye. I'm not meant for the world anymore. I want to thank you for our time together. Us being together has made me happier than anything. I'm also calling to let you know I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You probably stood up for me because you pity me, but that's okay. I'm sorry that you saw me with another, but you won't have to see me anymore. Thank you for the memories Jared. I love you."

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Trigger Warning: self harming scenes ahead.

I walk into my mom's bathroom and open up the medicine closet. I open the bottle of pills. I don't know what they are, but I'm going to take them anyways. I pour out the bottle. There are mounds of pills in my hand. I pop them all in my mouth and swallow.