The Darkness Inside

3

Why is it dark? Am I outside? What's going on? I try to sit up and as I'm looking around I notice there's blood all over the ground. Where did that come from? Then I notice, my head is bleeding. All I remember is turning around and oh..

You deserved it Grace.

Okay maybe I'll just go home. I get up and find a bathroom to wipe off the blood so my mom won't see. I put on my hood and go home. My mom is crashed out on the couch. She works long hours to take care of me and my 5 year old sister, Elizabeth. Elizabeth and my mom are asleep on the couch so I give them a kiss and go up to my bedroom. I get under the covers and try to sleep. 

Grace I'm never going to let you sleep. You don't deserve it, you should be dead.

You're ugly and fat.

You'll never fall in love or have a future. Who could love someone like you?

The thoughts come pouring in. I can't take it. I cry. I hate doing it, but it helps me relieve pressure that I build up. After all that's happened I deserve to cry.

You deserve to die.

I slowly cry myself asleep until I hear my mom screaming. "Grace! What happened to your head?! It's bleeding!!"

Still?

"Last night when I came home from the library I fell coming down the steps of the building."

"Grace we need to take you to the hospital."

"No mom! No, I don't need a hospital. I'll...uh..put a bandaid on it?"

My mom pulls me to the car and she's takin me to the hospital. I'm dizzy from all of the blood loss, and I'm tempted to sleep. We pull in the hospital and they take me into a room. I hate hospitals. I'm having horrible flashbacks. I can feel myself remembering what it was like. The cuts, the blood, the pain. They accept me in to room 108 and my mom and I wait to see the doctor.

Hopefully the blow killed you.

"Hello Mrs. Tate. Grace how are you?"

Sad, stupid, ugly.

"I'm bleeding."

"Oh Grace, we'll take care of you."

That's what they said at the other hospital and look at you now.

"Grace, we're going to stitch up your head and admit you for the night to make sure you don't get dehydrated or that you don't have a concussion. But, can you tell me what happened?"

Oh gosh. I can't lie. He's a doctor. He knows what happened.

"I was walking down the library steps when I fell down the last one and hit my head."

"Oh okay. Well you will be missing school for the next couple of days."

"Mom where's my phone?"

"Honey it's on your bedside table."

I grab my phone and text Karol.

Me: Hey Karol, need to talk but I won't be at school for a couple of days.

I wait a few seconds.

Karol: I MISS YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THESE PEOPLE! WHERE ARE YOU?!

She always makes me smile.

You don't deserve her and you know it.

Me: West Glendale Hospital room 108...

Karol: WHAT? THAT'S IT! I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE! I'M CALLING MOM!

If I can't talk to anyone else, I'll talk to her.

I was sitting in the hospital room, when someone I don't expect walks in. Jared Hank. Star Football Player at Glendale High.