Without A Song

Chapter Two: Monday the 5th of June, 1995

Ten years? Is that all there is from the day I first met Madelaine Barnsdale until the day I saw her married? So much has taken place, so many lives turned around, so much more known now than I knew back then. Where did it all go wrong and why? Friends, lovers and families all turned around in anything but a strange few years.

I could never explain why Madelaine (Maddy) and I got on as well as we did, we just clicked from the first day we met, Monday the 5th of June, 1995. Why do I remember the date so well? Answer: because that was the date that set everything else in motion, the date when I asked Sue if she wanted to live somewhere else in the world, the first and last date that I saw Maddy safely ensconced within the bosom of her family, the day our troubles really began. There I go again putting foot before mouth, letting stories slip before the timeline of this story evolves to take you there. When I first met Maddy we were each thirty-nine years old, both down to earth people I liked to think, each of us explorers in our own way. Our partners were both five years our junior but Maddy and I'd each seen a great deal more of the world that lay beyond the English shores than either of our partners ever would see in the rest of their lifetimes. Maddy was the only daughter of a Yorkshire parson, inspired to travel she was born to learn. She took her degrees in History and English, taught in Oxford's primary schools, worked as a museum curator in Canada and one summer she'd hiked across the Californian Rockies just for the hell of it. Her loving parents gave her life, love and a yearning for knowledge of all things. She grew up always wanting children of her own. Tamsin and Kirsty made her life complete.

It was on this pleasant, sky blue, sunny day when the wind was lost in the sweeping green-gold of the barley fields that stretched

away beyond Harmondswich Heath, that I met Maddy for the first time. There was no evidence here of the blanket of rain and thunderstorms I had endured on my drive across the English landscapes. Maddy was ironing one of Paul's white work shirts as I entered the cramped living room of their little chocolate-box church cottage. From the narrow entrance of the wooden porch, through the house and into the utility room beyond her, all of the beams, doors and window frames were painted white to match the ceiling and the walls. It made the cosy space seem so much bigger than it really was. Maddy's eyes alighted on me as soon as I walked through the door ducking my head to avoid the low beam as I did so. Up to that point she was the only one who was aware that I'd arrived. From where I stood I saw Maddy looking at the unexpected stranger (me) who looked back across the room, searching for his wife. I found Sue sat on the tiny floral sofa with its cream and pink rose patterns intertwined with soft green leaves. She sat next to Maddy's partner, Paul Wilcox, talking babysitting and church business. Paul worked for the British telecoms giant WorldSat at Martlesham Heath and was looking forward to the following weekend when the local parish church would be hosting a violin recital. Close to the unlit fire Maddy's two daughters, Tamsin and Kirsty, played together equally unaware of my arrival. I recall seeing Maddy raising her head, throw back her mop of rich, marmalade hair with an easy flick to bore two sultry balls of optical fire into mine.

"Hello stranger, are you lost or looking for company?"

"Hello. It's Madelaine isn't it?" I laughed. "My, what big eyes you have Madelaine."

This was the first time I'd met Paul's partner, although I'd met him and Kirsty several times before at choir rehearsals.

"All the better to see you with kind Sir," she replied quickly, "And it's Maddy to my friends."

A soft smile rose in her voice, her tone suggested flirt and innuendo. A sweet honey laugh hung in the air with the danger of a mustard aside. I laughed inwardly and returned the smile.

"Hey Stephen," Sue had latched onto our interchange and quickly crossed the carpet to kiss and grab hold of me, "Stop flirting with Maddy! Save that until we get home."