Without A Song

Chapter Twenty: Susan

So this is what it's like to see the end of your marriage coming towards you, for I'd no doubt that was Sue's intention.

"Are you alright Stephen? Sue has given me a telephone number where you can reach her or leave a message."

Speak with her? To throttle her would make me feel better but achieve little.

"Rupert you've been very good to me this week. Without you and your family I'd have slowly and inevitability gone to pieces. I've nothing left to say to Sue. I've tried so many times already, how much more can I keep on trying?"

We turned away from the lanes and walked towards the soda bar at the front of the competition area.

"What do I say? Shall I ask when she was going to tell me what was troubling her? Ask her how much longer was she going to hide her spending, her affairs or whatever was going on in her crazy jealous mind, from me? Does she really think I'm totally unaware of what goes on in Old Dereham when I'm away?"

"Stephen, I sent you the information that brought you home, I feel responsible for your well-being now that you are here. If I can offer you any advice then it is to speak with your solicitor as soon as possible."

"Thank you Rupert and thanks to your good self I'm now clearer in thought than when I arrived. I'll ring John Choplin now and seek his advice. He and I are sharing a late lunch with Terri Golding tomorrow, we can discuss any fallout then. After I've spoken with John I'll speak with Sue or her telephone again. Can you take my place on the lanes while I get this sorted out?"

I felt it in myself now. The chirpy-chappie façade was gone and my steel core was reasserting itself, shutting down emotion and driving me on. Rupert gave me a small yellow PostIt with Sue's telephone number on it, then he went over to his family to explain all. I saw four worried faces turning to face in my direction, then I saw George move to join me but she was held back by her father. In my head I was willing her to go back, telling her that neither you nor your family can help me do this. This call is mine. A bank of telephones sat away from the lanes and close to the bar, their clear plastic shells ready to kneel over my head, a wall of cardboard holes would sit by my side. I held myself together for a few moments more and rang John Choplin. He answered at the third ring, noted down my questions and agreed to everything I asked. I noted down his address for later when Sue would ask for the address of my solicitor.

Now I rang the number on the Postit.

"Sutton 759859, who is this please?"

"My name is Stephen Bannister, I've got a message to ring my wife?"

"One moment." I waited. "Susan says she's changed her mind, she no longer wants to speak to you. What you did is incomprehensible, how dare you take away her life, her money and her ... her ... respect."

I barely recognised the name change. I was not even sure if these were the words of my wife or the person on the other end of the telephone line. I had to make sure, give Sue some sort of opportunity to meet me.

"Sue rang and asked to arrange a meet with me. I'm returning to Saudi Arabia tomorrow and there's so little time available for me, for us. There's so much to say, so much more we should discuss. There's still time." I pleaded.

Why? Still time for what I wondered? My head was filled with vengeance, my heart crying out for relief, my soul wishing to give her absolution. Sue came on the line, her voice rising with the tension of the moment. Her pitch was stressed, her words barely under control.

"Stephen, you have left me all alone, taking pleasure in being away from me. I can't go on. I need love and understanding, if I can't get it from you then I'll seek it elsewhere, have sought it elsewhere. Don't you understand? I don't need you anymore, you have been replaced with someone who will love me and care for me. I'm sorry about Madelaine but she should be with her family and her family need her. It was not right that she left them, she must go home to Paul and her daughters."