Without A Song

Chapter Eight: Committment

I was feeling both happy and sad at the same time. Things were moving quickly but I'd mistakenly assumed that if I finished at midnight then so did Nicole. She rang two long hours after I'd spoken with Sally Fearns, at three o'clock in the night that was Tuesday morning. I heard her apologising for the hour. I also hear a faint concern in her voice.

"Hi Stephen, Sally has left me a note. What's so important?"

I told her about my flight home, how soon it was. We only had a week but she couldn't be free.

"I'm covering the accident and emergency wards until next Sunday morning, I can't get away or even ring you. I'll be living and sleeping close to the wards. Sorry darling."

I was not prepared to hear the word darling from her, I was okay with the lovey-dovey stuff and our times together but darling seemed wrong.

I blurted, "Can I see you again before I go and ..." I thought, would you wait for me to return?

"And?" I'm not sure what I heard in her voice. Had she been expecting my question?

There was a long pause before either of us spoke, then it was Nicole answering my unspoken question. "The answers are yes and yes. Our Friday was not a one night stand for me, I hope it was not for you either."

"Thank you." I heaved a big sigh while my knees wobbled. I was a lovesick teenager all over again. We talked a little more before I disconnected.

The next lonely week was murder to my mind with no contact from Nicole. Suffolk was another continent away. Work extended

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into post work. Lessons I taught during the day became subjects I relearnt old habits at night except when Fran and Vernon were occupying my free time to improve my fitness. Improved fitness increased my stamina and my mental awareness until I was a happy, fit and functioning instructor taking my students back and tackling their upcoming stage exams during the day. I did my final appraisal under Fran's watchful eyes proving to FlightPath that I was fully ready to cope with all they threw at me.

The forthcoming weekend was expected to be quiet as far as any evening entertainment would be concerned. No bands would be taking to the stage at either Haballah or Asir compounds and neither Sally nor Naomi would be up on the hill over the weekend. I spent Thursday hashing, laying trails in the morning and escorting families around the golden-pink sand dunes and carelessly strewn boulders of the Asiri Martian landscape during the afternoon. I was fit and healthy on all levels, I even managed to party with thirty or so expats of mixed nations at Badr Estate, an American nurses compound near the hospital.

Friday afternoon was slow. No radio show and no word from Nicole. With nothing better to do I prepared for my trip home. A week in early summer on the Suffolk coast? All things being equal it would be cold and warm, hot and wet, windy, dry or a bit of everything. I sorted laundry with Mohammed and packed what I could, anything else I'd buy in England.

During my recuperation I'd been able to apologise to most people, either publicly or privately. In return I found I'd some very real support including friends I didn't know I had. When I needed them most they'd been there for me. FlightPath had put the wheels in motion with a free flight home, first class with British Airways, free car hire, cash loan and nine days extra holiday if I needed it. Nothing really came free here and I was sure it would be repaid sometime in the future. I couldn't think of a reason to stay longer than a week. Get out, get things sorted and get back was how I saw it. However the offer was there and I was grateful for that.

Saturday was a split shift with my RSAF opposite numbers, and I attended with my collection of students in tow. Assuming they all passed their exams, eight of my senior students would be spending the next period of their training with their RSAF colleagues on the opposite shift, returning to my care for regular assessments and further training when they needed it. We worked six early hours followed by five hours free time, before we came back on shift for another four hours. This was their time to talk through any problems, while their colleagues were out inspecting underground aviation fuel lines near the F-15 shelters. Downtime like this is always important and this period allowed them respite to prepare for the next stage. I was satisfied, now Barry and Fran would take each student aside and independently assess each student's professional, mental and technical capabilities. Their judgements were crucial if my students were going further in their chosen trades, and their progress would do me no harm either. By the time Barry and Fran were done we felt that they were as ready as they were ever going to be. It was all up to the students now. Fran managed to appropriate a Toyota Hi-Ace and drove us back to our respective pits in Haballah at high-speed just after midnight. It had been an exhilarating day one way or another and we'd sleep the night of satisfied clowns. It was now Sunday and I'd be back at work in a few early hours, thanks mainly due to some annual training on the airbase. I was ready for bed but my telephone rang ten minutes shortly after my head hit the pillow. With Nicole's dreamy voice in my ear I was instantly awake.