Trepidation JJK FF

二十四

I can't calm myself
they were starting to bug me
I kept on scratching my arm
my anxiety is killing me
jimin, jin and taehyung led the way
I was merely following behind
too scared to see jungkook
too scared to know the truth behind
all of this chaos
I saw yoongi and the others waiting outside the
emergency room
my knees trembled
taehyung helped me to sit down
because he knew that I would collapse at any moment
they were silent, not the usual thing they would do
to not talk
to not joke around
well, jungkook's not here and they feel incomplete
they weren't the only one who feels that way
me too
I decided to speak up
"can someone tell me, why jungkook's here?"
my voice was faltering
yoongi then replied
"he was attacked by the goons that were bothering his grandparents, they had a huge debt and jungkook didn't know. so he became the target, he was beaten up and I knew he was stabbed, but I'm still not sure of that."
that's when I broke down
I cried
silently
seokjin who was sitting beside me welcomed me in his arms
embracing me
I was keeping my tears from falling
because I wanted to be strong for him
but I just can't right now
"seokjin, what if he-"
I was overthinking
he then shushed me, he kept on patting back
to help me cope with what's happening
after a few minutes, the doctor then came out
I separated myself from jin's embrace and looked at the doctor
his gloves were drenched with jungkook's blood
and I can't stop my tears from streaming down
my cheeks at the sight
he removed the gloves and mask
and spoke
the seven of us were
looking at him
like lost puppies
hoping for the best
"his condition is critical and having hemophilia is making it worse."
what?
no
jungkook
don't
the others cried
I stood up
and asked the doctor if he can be visited now
he nodded
so I went in the room where he is now confined
I held his hands
his pale yet bruised lips were still kissable
his right eye was heavily bruised
his cheek had short cuts and wounds
his body was full of casts and gauzes

"jungkook-ah, you should wake up soon. I'll be waiting for you, okay? I love you, jungkook. you could've poked my forehead right now if you were awake because I'm being too cheesy."
I laughed, but it turned out to be forced and weak
"I miss you, jeon. you look so beautiful when you're sleeping peacefully, but I'm sure that you look more beautiful when you're awake and you're smiling at me."

"kook, please, wake up."
"milk and what jungkook?"

I'm acting dumb
I know that
he won't be able to respond
of course
please
jungkook
wake up
for me, please?

for us