Giddy

Problem #5 - Text vs Talk

K.

So, I texted Josh just to ask him a simple thing.

Woo. Giddy. That's really the only word I like to use to explain this erratic thumping in my heart whenever something involving a boy happens.

I text Josh and ask him to do something for me. He replies in a short, quick message. I text him again saying it's the last time I'd ask him to do this. He say okay. I tell him I'd see him tomorrow. He replies, "K."

Just that, and I was freaking out like a cliche, stereotypical teenage girl who's in love.

Another day comes around and I'm talking with my friends in the usual circle in the quad. Josh comes over while we're talking about the Red Flag of all girl problems. When he sits down, he asks what we're talking about and in a short, staccato sentence we say, "Nothing." He says okay and immediately leaves after.

However, I start having these feelings of guilt build up inside me. Of course we don't want him to hear about this stuff, but I feel like he may have thought we just ignored him to get him to leave. That's usually the tactic they've used so he would stop bothering the group. Another issue that adds to my thinking we made him feel unwanted is the fact we started getting really loud right after.

I felt horrible.

After some talking with a close friend of mine (*cough* Onenickel *cough*) I decided to just text him to sort of make up for the conversation we could have had.

So I text him, asking him if he's seen the new Captain America movie because I haven't. Again, he replies with short messages like, "No" and "Alright" and the infamous "K." I was really at a loss here.

See, the thing is, there are only two guys I normally text. We actually have conversation that I think some would envy; I can text about my problems and they'll help me solve them, I can text them about random topics that have been clinging to my mind and they can give back insight, I can ask them about their day and they won't just respond with "Fine." Texting Josh brought me back to reality and it's this:

Most boys suck at texting.

That's why they'd rather talk with you on the phone. It makes sense.

The next day, I manage to include him in the conversation.

As usual, he takes a seat and I greet him and then he asks what we're talking about.

"Do you know [blank]?" I ask.

He gives an affirmative response and I go on to tell him about how we were talking about this guy.

This guy's crazy and we were talking about the weird stuff he's done.

Well apparently, Josh goes to tell us that there's a rumor about this guy and how he cursed out our principal and then proceeded to run out of his office all the way to a Trader Joe's that's a block away. That's when I realize that I practically witnessed this and I totally forgot about it.

Anyways, I was just really happy to have Josh around. I was eating some leftovers and he told me that it looked good. He talked about how blind he was and how his phone magically disappeared. I made sure to make eye contact because we know that relationships can be built and strengthened through that. Plus, it made me look attentive, which I was.

My small dilemma with this is just... his eyes.

They were so mesmerizing. I had to force myself to look away; I had to force myself to not study his thick, dark lashes that framed his chocolate eyes. If I hadn't, I would have been staring into them forever, I kid you not. I would pretend to focus on my food to mask my inner conflict, which I thought was a pretty good cover.

In the end, life felt great. Giddy again.

But when he didn't come over to talk one day, I almost felt lonely.

I could actually talk to him.

Ladies and gentleman, problem number 5.