Giddy

I'm Not Giddy

Josh. Another Josh. I'm keeping the name the same as the first Josh I mention in this because their names are the same in real life also and just... yeah, you'll see.

Over winter break, I had invited this guy Josh to a dance on New Year's Eve. Before that, we had been texting each other a lot. We had a Snapchat streak and everything.

But as this kept going on, I knew he was sort of flirting. Especially with his long history of relationships, I knew I shouldn't really involve myself too deeply because I was going to reject him and I was worried that he would badmouth me after cutting me off. I had talked with him about so many of the things that I love, like you would with a close friend, that I really did just want to be friends with him. But I already knew.

Then came this one day. He asked me if I had any plans Tuesday, and I said no. Then he sent me a Snapchat of him with a bucket of popcorn, saying the expiration date was the last day of December. I knew he wanted to go out to the movies. We had especially talked a lot about that, so I saw it coming. But, I panicked. And then I never responded. And he had the nerve to say that we were going to lose our streak instead of worrying about me.

Then a day later I told him I had a panic attack. Maybe I did, but I wouldn't know about that. He tried to pry it out of me, of what was wrong, but I only told him that I didn't want to talk about it, which was true.

Then as New Year's Eve was coming along, I got sick. I never went. He didn't go either, because I was going to be the only person he knew. I even let my other friend down, who bought a new dress for it and everything.

But Josh moved on when we got back from the break. We weren't good friends. He never bothered to text me or Snapchat me or say hi to me. Nothing.

Then he swooped up his new girlfriend, Jennifer. He got this pure and kind Mormon girl. I don't know if she actually likes him because I don't even know the story of how their relationship happened, but I imagine it started like mine did. After observing how they talked just a tad more, and how he mentioned that he had to message her through Instagram, and then the fact that she got a Snapchat and her story once in a while was just of him because he would have stolen her phone...

I'm not jealous. Seriously. I'm just concerned. And it's super weird because Jennifer's brother had the same name as him. But I trust that if he does anything to her, her brother and her army of friends will actually annihilate him. I trust her brother to take care of her, more than some others, but I know he doesn't want to lose her and her getting hurt falls under that.

I actually might have sensed some hostility already during English since these two "Josh's" sit near each other and I saw it when I walked in, since I sit near them also.

So that's that. I'll see those two together at prom soon. Look forward to that chapter.