Giddy

Problem #11 - Jealousy

This is another one involving Parker.

At a dance, I was with my usual group, all of us enjoying our time. This other girl we met joined us. Before I begin, I just want to let you guys know that despite these negative feelings I have about her that I'm going to express, I in no way harbor any feelings of hate towards her or the like. It's just... those things that annoy you.

Honestly, this whole chapter may seem pretty pessimistic and negative. I titled this problem Jealousy, and that's a pretty negative feeling.

So back to this girl: she had to stop going to public school and was home schooled for a long time because she was sick and she'd have frequent hospital visits, etc. Her condition finally got better, and she said that to get back into the "social scene" (quote from Parker) she went to this dance. I learned this at the end of the dance, asking Parker about who this girl was because she seemed to kind of cling to him. Parker finished by saying, "And hey, what better place to start than with T.O."

Immediately, my thoughts are that this girl is using the "I've been sick so you should worry about me and pay attention to me" card. It's a good one to use too, because I see how much it would suck to have to be isolated and suffer with an illness. But because she used this card, I could only think that she was just this weak and manipulative person.

Moving on to during the dance, her actions were just more evidence to my thoughts of her being manipulative. She constantly kept telling us to create space, to back up and make a nice circle. Girl, this is a dance in a gymnasium filled with more than 200 kids, it's hard to make space. Plus, her tone just even made my other friends a little annoyed. I thought, "This girl doesn't know what freedom there should be at dances, what the heck."

She also tried to squeeze into the most difficult places too. Over there is a nice open spot, but you don't want to take it? Oh, because you want to be next to Parker? Because you want to be next to ANY guy? Sure, go ahead. Go ahead and get in between Parker and I sharing a moment while we reach out to each other and are dramatically singing. Go ahead. I don't mind.

YES I MIND. Because of you, I now have this Giddy chapter that is majority ranting. Are you happy? Of course you are, because you managed to get a guy to dance with you every single dance. You even got to dance with Parker twice, how sweet.

See, I was jealous that someone was stealing Parker's attention.

There was a point also when I noticed the way she danced and it was just... borderline grinding. Excuse me, but no. You can't do that. That's not allowed here. That's also not going to help you.

Now, here's something that is just me straight up attacking her appearance: please use the internet to teach yourself how to do proper winged eyeliner. Please. I know in the dark no one notices, but the lights eventually turn on. It's horrifying to see, okay. It physically pained me to see that smudged mess.

But here's a little giddiness to end the chapter: of course, we did have our chance to dance together and slow dancing with someone always has my heart racing. Then there was that moment, before that girl ruined it, when we were singing to each other. It was fun and we were all smiles then. We even had dinner together, with our other friends of course. It was only Subway, but we were still together. We walked side by side. Little things that just had me giddy.

Then, I gave him a ride home. He had to squeeze into the back seats of the truck with my sister and I. We couldn't say much since my parents were there, but I was constantly aware of how close we were. I was also getting kind of sleepy, so it took all my willpower to not lean against him.

So there.

This has been problem eleven out of... probably an infinite amount.