Frustration Diaries

May 11, 2016

Late night blues...

11:15 PM thought...

Pity party?!

Call it however you like...

Sometimes, I'm not sure whether I hate it or I seek it...

There are a lot of things that exist in this world that could make or break a person. Plenty of authors, scientists, psychologists, people...say it depends upon how the person deal with what the world serves.

But nobody really warns us how to know that you're already breaking...

Does my ellipsis annoy you?

Frustrating, isn't it?

These aren't organized thoughts, therefore, pardon me if it confuses and irritates you.

It's just that, my mind is running wild and I can hardly form coherent thoughts when I'm in the mood like this one. However, it's the only way I could express things into running. When the words in my head decided to have a race.

Earlier, as I was waiting for sleep to come to me. My mind seem to have another plan. It ran to thoughts that makes my heart heavy every time. Thoughts that never seem to want to leave me, or is it that I don't want it to leave me? I can't decide. For it seems these thoughts are the only things I wanted to have as my sole companion.

Things about life that makes me wonder, what am I really doing with my life? Is this still part of God's plan for me? Or have I unfortunately swayed from His right path?

Dark things? Who labeled it that way? There are times when I think, these thoughts aren't really the problem. In fact, I had proven to myself that it had helped me go on with this not much of a life. Somehow it gives me a contented feeling despite the frustrating way of life I am currently walking (crawling in more times than one).

Is it too selfish of me?

I've always wondered ever since someone had remind me that...

*sigh