"Hi, my name is Salmon and welcome to My Idiosyncratic Addiction." Salmon the genderfluid Italian flounder said into their microphone. "Today we'll be looking at 57 year old Patricia who's addicted to ladders." Salmon finished and turned around to face the house of Latricia. The camera followed Salmon to the door of Patricia's house. Salmon knocked and the door opened quickly. Too quickly.
"HI SALMON I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN HOLY MOTHER OF CHEETO DUST I'M CRYING THERE ARE TEARS ON MY FACE AHHH HAH HAH HAH HEEEEEEEEHHH!" Patricia screamed. "Woah there, friend you might need to slow down." Salmon said, slightly terrified.
Salmon cautiously entered Patricia's house. "So...why don't you tell us about your addiction." Salmon said. Patricia sat down on a ladder. "Well, my name is Patricia Steal Your Papi and I am addicted to ladders." She said. Salmon sat down next to her, also on a ladder. "How did your addiction begin?" Salmon asked.
Patricia's eyes became watery and you could see her trying to hold in tears. "When I was only five my father died. He worked at a ladder factory so we buried him with his favorite ladder. I was so sad, I just couldn't help myself. I dug up my father's burial ladder. I've been addicted ever since." Patricia said, a tear rolled down her face.
Salmon sat, horrified. "You didn't...you didn't dig up your father as well...did you?" Salmon asked. Patricia smiled, "Actually, yeah I did. I keep him upstairs sitting on his favorite ladder which is also my favorite." She said.
Salmon stood up quickly. "I think that's all the time we have for today..." Salmon and the rest of the camera crew ran for the door and high knee kicked away.
LEE COME TO SCHOOL WHERE TF ARE YOU?!
YOU ARE READING
Short Stories
Short StoryLiterally just short stories I write randomly. Very strange. Kind of stupid. Lots of fun come on down.
