Short Stories

#18- Baby Hand

"Okay, Stan just hear me out." Fan Spin said. He made a rainbow hand motion in the air. "Baby. Land." He said.

Stan raised his eyebrow at Fan. "Baby land?" He asked. Fan nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, baby land." Stan gave him a look of completely and utter confusion. "So is it for babies? Like, what exactly is it?"

Fan smiled, excited to share the details of his idea. "I actually think it'll be fore adults. You know," Fan leaned in close to Stan's face and whispered, "Adults like me." From inside Fan's t-shirt sleeve his hand popped up.

"Oh, Fan. Please no." Stan pleaded. "You know no one else has this problem." He said. Fan disagreed, "No, sir. There's probably tons of people just like me. I realize now that this sounds extremely offensive, but don't worry once I explain it maybe it will sound a lot better. I'm not discriminating you, Stan is so be mad at him, but he's not real so that would be kind of pointless." Fan took a deep breath, and Stan stared at him. Mortified.

"Fan...what the hell, man." He said. Fan grew very frustrated. "Look, Stan!" He pulled up his sleeve to expose his baby arm. Not a small arm. An actual baby arm. Fan's actual baby arm. He had this arm when he was a baby, but when he grew up it didn't. So it looks like a babies arm attached to a giant man shoulder. It's not a defect it's just Fan's life.

"I have to live with this everyday!" Fan began to yell. "Fan, please put that away." Stan said as calmly as possible. Stan has a baby arm phobia, but he's also rude as FRICK. "No, Stan! This is the real me! Sometimes I bend down and use my lil arm to pick up small items I drop! Remember that one time when you dropped your pen on the floor! You had back problems and guess who picked it up? My arm, Staniel! My smol child lil baby arm did!" Fan was screaming at this point. Everyone in the office was staring at them.

"You know what? I'm done. I'm so done. Goodbye, Stan." Fan said. "Fan, please...." Stan replied in a low voice. "Your arm is still all up in my face. It's uh...disturbing." He said. Fan flipped Stan off with his baby arm and pranced off into the sunset.

STAN WAS HIT BY A CAR THE NEXT DAY SO THERE IS NO MORE BABY ARM DISRESPECT IN THIS WORLD BABY ARMS TODAY BABY ARMS TOMORROW BABY ARMS FOREVER. GO ARM YOU DO IT.