Short Stories

#19- Special Cactus?

A long time aginto the future, there was a cactus.

He was an average cactus with an average cactus wife and children. For some reason, however, everyone thought he was a special cactus. They thought he had special cactus powers (he didn't.)

See in the city of LaleeLandria, everyone completely worshiped this cactus. Everyday when the cactus walked down the street, trying to get groceries they would beg and beg for an autograph and pictures. Most of the time he just got away, but one day he couldn't escape the crowds.

The cactus couldn't bring home groceries to his family, and they perished. So no mo fam fo cactus man.

It didn't take long for everything to start spiraling downhill. The next day, so many people crowded around the shopping mart, waiting for cactus to arrive, all traffic was backed up. It got so bad that everyone just gave up and started playing bumper cars. All vehicles were wrecked. Their insurances couldn't cover any of it and they actually had to pay for everything. So, no one had money and the car sales go down and the economy is harmed. Plus, no one had money to pay for their homes and the economy was harmed even more. Since no one could buy cars or pay rent, everyone was laid off their jobs. Because in LaleeLandria the only job is car making and selling and having apartments.

Of course, this also affected cactus man. He lost his wife, children, and now his house. A little after the economy crashed, cactus man was walking through the city that was now crowded with homeless citizens. "Cactus man!" A young child yelled out. Cactus hadn't been noticed by anyone yet because they were all crying and he was very surprised. "O shit waddup?!!!!!" He said, startled.

"Have no fear! Cactus man will save us all!" The child cheered. "Oh no, child. I am only a cactus. I cannot save you." Cactus man tried to explain but no one would listen.

Instead, 5,000,000 people moved forward. Everyone, now being alerted of cactus man's presence, launched themselves at him. They went through walls, breaking windows, crushing other humans. Cactus man didn't stand a chance. His last words, "I am only simple cactus."

Dot jooge peepal oka!!111??!!1