Recover

Chapter Eight

Recover- Chapter Eight






"Instead of begging you to come to the game, I'm just going to ask you once. Will you come to the game tomorrow?" Alexander stated. "Nope." I didn't want to go by myself, and I wasn't going to go with Andrea and her friends again. It's nice talking to her at lunch but that's enough.


"What the hell, why?" He asked almost as soon as I had ended my sentence. Who wants to go watch something they don't understand and be freezing their butts off while doing so? "I don't get football. I don't care too much for it either."


"It's not like you have anything better to do." He mumbled. "Yeah, but I don't want to stay outside all night. Sorry.." I sat down in the lab stool for science.


"Okay.. Well have fun being at home alone tomorrow night." He made it sound as if it's a terrible thing to be home on a Friday night.


"If you won't come to the game tomorrow, come to the party after." He pushed. I especially don't like parties. I haven't been to one since that night.. "I don-"

"Great! Pick you up at nine." He interrupted. "No, you don't get that I don't want to hang out with you. Stop trying to make me." I rudely commented.


"It would be a lot easier if you would stop pushing me away." He was so calm, yet kind of rude when he said it. "Have you ever thought I'm pushing you away for a reason?" He was quiet after that. I hadn't won, he was just putting the pieces together trying to figure me out even more.



Alexander didn't talk to me the rest of the period. It was actually relaxing that he wasn't bugging me. There's no way I'm telling him what happened. He already knows way too much about way too soon.



I didn't hurt his feelings, and I know I didn't. He was annoyed, but not hurt. I followed him to my next class. He was focused more on talking to one of his friends then me, so I just kept my distance from him.


"Why do you have such a hard time with letting someone in?" He was really pressing buttons and it was getting old. "Because, when you have been through what I have, you tend to not trust people. And don't even ask me what happened because I'm not going to tell you."


"Why? I already know you cut and starve yourself.. Can't be much worse.."


"You say it like its nothing Alexander, but it's everything. Of course, that doesn't bother you so just leave me alone." To top it all off I was having terrible cramps.


"We both know that's not going to happen.." I rolled my eyes and pretended like I didn't hear him. I felt like someone was punching me repeatedly right below my waist. I wanted to get in the fetal position and just die from all the pain.



Alexander tried putting his hand on my thigh but I slapped him really hard. "Lexii, please step out in the hall, that was unnecessary." The teacher spoke. With me being so fed up with everything I was delighted to step out in the hall. Alexander laughed as walked out. Little fucker.


I didn't even feel like waiting for Ms. Garner to come talk to me. I just wanted to go home. I was started to become hot in my jacket but I couldn't take it off.


The pain would last a few seconds and be back within a couple of minutes.


It wasn't till the end of the period when Alexander came out that I left. "Here, she said just to let you go this time." He handed me my over the shoulder bag. "That's what you get for slapping me in class." He gave me a friendly push with his arm. It didn't through me off balance or anything, but it sure as hell made me mad.


"Alexander I swear to god if you do that again I will kill you." I yelled. "Jesus, calm down. Someone's having a bad day." He laughed at himself. I did as best as I could to ignore him the whole day.


~~~~


When I got home there was really nothing to do. Absolutely nothing. I went straight up to my room and plugged my headphones in my ears.


I tapped the song titled "The Harold Song." Ke$ha's voice and words in this song just hit me like a ton of bricks. It also didn't help that I was a hormonal freak right now.



The chorus made me burst into tears. Not just because it's deep, in fact, I don't know why I started crying. I fucking hate being a girl. One minutes you just hate the whole entire world and you want to rip out people vocal cords then the next you're crying for no stupid reason.



A stupid ringtone interrupted the song.


From: Manwhore ;)
Hey babe


I wanted to ignore him, but I also was happy that he said that and wanted to text him back. I wish I could just forget about all that happened with Jessie and be normal again. I want to say Alexander isn't like the other guys or Jessie, but I don't know. Things in the beginning were amazing between Jessie and me. It was just that one night that screwed up my life.



What if Alexander tries to hurt me like Jessie did? What if I say no he's not and I end up hurt in the end? What if? I hate not knowing things. I'm sure if I just tell Alexander what happened he will be understanding and be gentle.. Right? No, he will think I'm disgusting. He will think I'm a slut and I'm gross. He probably already does with my scars. Hell, I think I'm ugly and disgusting.



I choose to just answer him and talk to him. I'm kinda comfortable around him. I'm not myself, but I'm not as terrified as I was.


To: Manwhore ;)
Hi


A shooting pain goes through that area and I grab a fistful of my covers. Looks like I won't be eating at all tonight. I won't be doing anything but staying curled up under the sheets.


From: Manwhore ;)
What are u doinnnn???!


I told him I was just laying down, I don't want him to know my business. I take out my headphones and hear the front door opening. I get a little scared. It could possibly be a break in; my mom never gets home this early.



I tiptoe down the wooden steps to see the person who just came through my door. I sigh in relief that it's just my mom. "Oh Lexii, get dress in something nice. The next door neighbors are coming over for dinner." I didn't know if I should feel insulted. Was what I was wearing not nice? It was just a graphic T-shirt, jeans, and a jacket. "I invited them over yesterday. Hurry! They will be here in about an hour." She shooed me away to go upstairs. I didn't feel like being all dressed up when I feel like I'm in a horror movie.



I don't say anything to my mom mainly because I'm not in the mood to fight. I go upstairs and take a quick shower to wash my hair. When I get out I blow dry it and go pick out clothes. I pick a black high waisted skirt with a cute some-what baggy sweater. It's just the right length to hide my scars. I wouldn't want to freak the neighbors out already.


From: Manwhore ;)
Sounds comfy can I join? ;)


I knew he was messing around. Even if he wasn't there was no way he's coming over.


To: Manwhore ;)
Actually change of plans.. Mom invited neighbors over bye :)


I set my phone down and replaced it with my straightener. Once all finished, I pushed my side bangs off to one side of my face. I still don't see myself attractive but whatever. I feel too crappy to care.


Five minutes later I hear the doorbell ring from the couch. "Lexii go get that." My mom orders from the kitchen. She must really care what these people think about us. Then again, she's always felt that way.



I flatten my skirt down and unlock the door. In front of me is a woman, my mother's age, and a small boy. He looked like he was maybe six or seven, with brown hair and missing his two bottom teeth. "Hi, come in." I moved out of the way so they could enter.



I led them to the kitchen to let my mom greet them. The two ladies talked for a bit while my mom set the food on the table. I felt perfectly fine to eat now.


Sometimes I can eat perfectly fine without thoughts entering my head. Other times I get scared to eat. It's like a person with a fear of heights; their hands get sweaty and they become nervous. Same for me when I freak out about eating. I get that unfriendly feeling in my stomach and I become very hot.



My mom had made green bean casserole. It was my absolute favorite! I could eat the hell out of it and not even feel guilty.


"Mary, this is my daughter Lexii. Lexii, this is Mary and her son Trey." I shook hands with Mary and the little boy. He was oddly quiet for some reason. He smiled occasionally when I made silly faces at him.



While my mom went to town with talking, I thought it would be nice to communicate with Trey. "So do you go to school yet?" I slide my fork into the casserole and brought it up to my mouth.


"Yes! I'm in first grade!" He proudly told me. "Woah! You're a big kid now!" He laughed and took a sip of his water.

"Lexii, Mary and I were talking yesterday, and we thought it would be great for you to babysit Trey. Since you don't know the area all too well, it makes a great job until you get used to things around here." My mother spoke. I thought it was okay for maybe a few short weeks. It's a good enough reason to tell Alexander, it would also be an easy way to make money and finish homework on the weekdays.

"Only if you want to. I have been needing a babysitter, but if you don't want to, or you're busy i understand." Mary added.



"Sure, I would love to. Trey seems pretty cool. When do I need to start?"

"Tomorrow if you don't mind. Trey gets out of school at 3:30, but he can stay there at the school until four. When he gets home, you can give him a snack, just no sweets until after dinner. I should be home before then but if not, I will call you. I get off work around six but I will be home at 6:30." I nodded in understandment. "What school does he go to?"



Mary explained more details and how to get to the school, but it all went in one ear and right out the other. After they left I left my mom to clean up while I changed and laid on my bed. I checked my phone and I had a unseen text.



From: Manwhore ;)

oh so ur just going to leave me like that?!

I laughed at the text and replied.

To: Manwhore ;)

nobody said i was oblegated to stay and talk to u ;)

I brushed up all of my thick hair into a ponytail and climbed back in bed. Surprisingly, I was pretty tired even though I had no reason to be. My day was quite boring, as always.

From: Manwhore ;)

well what if i said u had to?! ya thats what i thought



I could feel my eyelids getting heavier and heavier by the minute. I wanted to stay up and keep talking to Alexander, but I was tired!



To: Manwhore ;)

i am tired so u win kay? goodnight



I covered my body up with the covers and put my arm under my pillow.


From: Manwhore ;)
Goodnight sweetheart don't have too many dreams bout me


I didn't even text back with how cocky he was. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take me under




~~~~




"Are you gonna eat today?" Alexander asked in the lunch line. It was still a sensitive subject and I know how he meant it, but it kind of hurt me. He didn't say it a mean way, but it sounds stupid to any other person. I started getting frustrated for no reason.


"No, but I ate this morning." With how little I eat I have gotten used to small amounts of food to fill me up. "Why did you come up in line with me then." I shrugged. Truth is, I didn't want to be alone at the table with Mike and Andrea. "I came up to get water." I lied.


"If you're not eating then neither am I." He was trying to get me to eat but it wasn't happening. I honestly wasn't hungry. "Stop being stubborn and eat."


"Exactly. that's what I have been telling you." I rolled my eyes. "I'm not hungry but if I get something, will you be satisfied?" He smiled.


I got a small salad knowing everything else the school served would be disgusting. the salad wasn't that great but I choked it down for Alexander.


He was too busy having a conversation with Mike about the game tonight. I honestly don't see what guys get out of football. They just run back and forth chasing each other on a field.

"Yep and Lexii is coming again too!" The last few words of his sentence following my name caught my attention. "No I can't." This time I actually had a reason for me not going. "You don't have anything better to do."



"I have to babysit." I stuffed a forkful of lettuce in my mouth. "I didn't know you had a younger sibling?"


I shook my head. "No, I don't. I'm babysitting the kid next door to me until about six thirty."


"Great! You can still come then. Game



_____________________



Sorry for any misspelled words. it's 3:30 in the morning. I stay up to finish the book I had started at ten o'clock today and it SUCKED! Ugh so not worth my time. So yep u guessed it, I've already started another one :P

Pleaaaase comment what you think about the book :)