Paint Stain <Lashton>

XXI

Whatever satisfies the soul is truth. ~Walt Whitman

Ashton's POV

I walked over to Luke's door and was unsure if I should open it or not. I had been standing there for what felt like an eternity.

When I pushed it open I did not actually see Luke. I walked around the room, taking a few steps forward I heard a shuffling and bent down as I looked underneath the bed where Luke was laying.

"Luke?" I spoke gently.

"Hm?" He replied.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said, his voice was so quiet I almost didn't hear him. I laid down on the floor and slid myself underneath the bed.

"Nothing, huh?" I asked. I reached out and put my hand on his head as I ran my hand over his hair. He didn't move away from me like I was expecting.

"Luke?" I spoke up. He did not budge. "Luke." I dragged his name out as I spoke. He sighed as he contracted. I slid farther underneath the bed until my face was in front of his. He still refused to look at me. I kissed his forehead and his eyes wandered over to me. "Hi."

"What do you want?" He asked.

"Nothing. Just to be here with you." I smiled.

"Shut up." Luke scoffed.

I let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't think that reading your book would be - "

"It's not the fact that you read it. If I had any confidence in it I would have shared it with you. It's just.. It's the darker side of me and I don't like to show people that or relate to it at all." Luke sighed.

"It's a part of who you are, and why would you write about it if you don't like to think about it?" I asked.

"Because it still exists and writing it gets it out of my system." Luke told me.

I wasn't really sure what to say, instead I leaned closer to Luke and pressed my lips against his. When I pulled back he had a shocked look on his face. "What's the matter?"

He said nothing but rolled away from me. I could see him contract into a ball. "You're acting like a baby." 

"Whatever," Luke scoffed and turned to me. "I spend all day in a monkey suit, walking around, smiling, shaking hands, making deals and being a professional in an occupation I want nothing to do with but my father wouldn't pay for me to go through college and I didn't have the money to go through college. Every day I get to come home regretting the fact that I agreed to work in his company and do what he said and be in his business for the rest of my life. I can act however I want at home." 

I went wide eyed at Luke, a sudden burst of anger came from him and there seemed as if there was no pleasing him, when in reality, there was. He just wanted to be able to live the way he wanted.. So, I asked him a question I don't think anyone ever has. "What do you want to do with your life?"

"What?" 

"You said you didn't want to work in business, what did you want to do?" I asked. 

Luke looked at me, he said nothing from a moment. "I wanted to go into liberal arts."

"And do what?" 

"I don't know, I wanted to be a writer or a journalist or something with writing. I liked it a lot and when my mother left, I occupied a lot of my time with it." Luke explained. I tried to ignore the fact that once again, Luke described his mother as "leaving" rather than "dead" or "passed away." He still truly believe she was gone, and I don't think he would ever believe otherwise. 

"So now that you have the money, why don't you quit and go to college for that?" I asked.

"Because I don't have any money." Luke told me. I was shocked by this, and he continued. "My father pays rent for me, he pays for my insurance, my car, my groceries, my phone bill. Whenever I want to go to the store and buy something, he gives me a credit card and I have to use that so he can track my purchases. I don't ever have any cash." 

"You let him entirely regulate your life?" I asked. Luke gave a shrug. "You're never going to get what you want in life, you know that don't you?" 

"Yeah, there's nothing I can do about it." Luke shrugged. "Ashton, I would rather have this job than have nothing.. I mean, if my father cuts me off. I'm done for. I won't have anything left. I'll lose my house, my belongings, my car. And I'm going to look like a pretty stupid hobo when I'm wearing suits all the time." 

"You're very dramatic, maybe you should have majored in theater." 

"I didn't major in anything what part of that did you miss!" Luke huffed. 

I let out a sigh and ran my hand through Luke's hair, before cupping his face. He let out a sigh and held onto my arm. 

"If my father even knew we went out tonight, he would fire me in a heartbeat. He doesn't want me with anyone besides models." Luke whispered. His eyes refused to make contact with me, as if he was ashamed of what his father had requested of him. 

"He'll have to learn to get over it." I shrugged. 

"Wha - Ashton he can't just - "

"I want to be with you." I cut him off, Luke's eyes flashed over to me and I could see his cheeks tinting red. "Just trust me." 

"Well..I-I.." Luke trailed off. 

"I like you and I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't." I said. "You may disagree with me, but there's a level of sophistication and uniqueness to you that I admire. I want to be a part of that." 

Luke rolled out from underneath the bed, and while waiting for a moment I felt him pull my feet so I was out from underneath the bed and could see him standing over me. He sat down on top of me and leaned down pressing his forehead to mine and eventually his lips. 

Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles and Serenades xX