The Sun [Book 3] (Adam Levine FanFic)

Chapter 27

-Adam's P.O.V.-

I can feel the pain, the rope hitting my skin.

"No! You can't! No more!" I yell trying to shake it out. I know it's not real, but why does it feel so real? I swing at him but it's all in vain.

"Adam! Adam!" She yells. I can't open my eyes, my head shakes back and forth. The cold starts to wrap me in a blanket of goosebumps and sweat.

"Adam! Wake up! It's just a dream! I'm here it's ok," She says shaking my shoulder. My eyes dart open at her touch and I turn to her. I'm heaving and sweating like a fucking pedophile in prison.

"Baby, it's ok," she whispers wrapping me in her arms, pulling her close to her,"I'll keep you safe."

Tears start to stream down my face and I bury my disgrace in her shoulder. This isn't how it should be. I should be protecting her, not the other way around. I should be comforting her, no vice vera. Why would she love me? Why does she love me? Such a screwed up person doesn't deserve to be loved. I can't give her what she wants. I can't give her a perfect life that she deserves. I can't even give her, what I used to so freely give away.

-Whiskey's P.O.V.-

"Shhh. It's ok. I'm right here Adam," I whisper, kissing his forehead and stoking his hair gently. His nightmares aren't as bad as they used to be, now he only screams, but before he used to also start swinging at the air. They still startle me though.

"Honey, baby, I'm going to go get you some water," I say slipping my head from out under his head.

Before i can get up he grabs my arm,"Please, don't leave me."

I sit sit back down on the bed and cradle him in my arms. I try to take off his soaking shirt, but he won't let me so I just let it be.

"It's ok honey, it's ok," I whisper lovingly,"I'm here baby. I love you and that's all that matters ok. You're ok."

Slowly he starts to drift off back into sleep, and I gently place his head on the pillow, slip on my rob, and go into the hallway.

"Is daddy having another nightmare?" Sydney asks, peaking out of her room.

I nod,"Yea, but it's ok sweetie, he's fine. Go back to sleep."

She nods, and I go to the kitchen and fill a glass with water. I go through the draws until I find a decent rag, and soak it in warm water.

The doctors released Adam after a week and he's been home for almost a month now. Everynight he has a nightmare and it's always he same routine. Of course I don't mind it, he helped me when I was at my low, now I have to help him.

I go back to the room and I stop in the door way of our room. Sydney is on the bed next to Adam, reading to him.

"'Hush!' said Frodo. 'I think I hear hoofs gain.'" Sydney reads with effect. I can't help but smile at this picture. Adam is in bed, head propped up on a pillow, listening to Sydney read The Fellowship of the Ring and Syndney is curled up next to him.

"Now, what are you doing?" I ask Sydney with a smile, putting Adam's water next to him and place the warm rag on his head. His side of the bed is soaked from the cold sweat.

"I'm reading to daddy, maybe it'll help him feel good," She says with a big smile on her face.

"Thanks sweetie but you need to sleep, you can read to him tomorrow night, is that a deal?" I say, sitting on my side of the bed.

She nods,"Ok, goodnight daddy, sweet dreams."

"Goodnight baby girl," Adam says kissing her forhead,"I love when you read to me."

She smiles and scampers off towards her room. Adam just stares at the closed door for a moment and then turns to his night stand and pulls out his little packet of white escape.

"Adam, are you ok?" I ask. Even though I know he's not.

He dumps a little of the packet on the night stand and breaths it in. God, I hated seeing him like this, but thanks to Danny, Adam is back on cocaine.

He shrugs as he erases all the evidence,"I'm better now."

"Adam, do you want to talk about it?" I ask him, reaching for his hand. But he withdraws it and shakes his head.

I sigh as look down at my hands in my lap. I want to help him, but it's like he just keeps adding distance between us. I don't know what to do...

The door creaks, and Adam practically jumps out of his skin.

"Mommy, are you going to do my hair tomorrow?" Sydney asks me.

I nod,"Yes sweet heart, now go to bed." Again she nods, closes the door and leaves.

Adam is so sensitive, everything scares him. It's like he's living in fear of everything, I guess Danny did more to him than I thought. All I want to do is love him, but he won't let me.

He looks at me and smiles, hidding his fear and shame. He leans over to me and places his ear to my belly and I comb his hair softly with my fingers. I'm not that big for being about 4 months along, but it's still noticeable. He smiles and kisses my belly and starts to sing Coldplay's '42':

"Those who are dead are not dead

They’re just living in my head

And since I fell for that spell 

I am living there as well 

Oh.. 

Time is so short and I’m sure 

There must be something more "

I smile, because, this is the first time, he's sang since the accident.

Adam looks up at me,"I wonder who's hair he'll have?"

Maybe he will start coming back to me. Slowly but surely.