Living is bizarre but what else could it be? It can be spent living in sorrow, living in mourn, living in anything but in all living is only living...
⇥7mcuMDu6⇤
Dedicated to: harrythebear because you said that this fanfic is your favorite. That means so much to me!!! Love you!!
Alright so this chapter made me cry while writing it but when do I not cry while writing Drew's POV? He is just so depressed all the time but I have a feeling that is going to change very soon. But it is not even the middle of the book I swear!!!
Don't forget to vote/comment/share. If you have any thoughts on the book PM me I love to hear your voice and I love to hear your thoughts about how the next chapters will go!!
Chapter Twenty One.
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Drew's POV
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be happy with myself again.I worry that if I can't be happy with myself than nobody will ever be happy with me. I want to be happy but there is a voice inside of my head screaming that I don't deserve to be.
I don't deserve to be happy with anyone. I don't deserve to smile. I don't deserve a lot of things.
Especially Violet Kaster's friendship.
She has been so nice to me and all I have been doing is pushing her away. I keep pushing her away and I am not doing anything about it. I don't want to be happy actually. If this is what happy feels like then being happy is like drowning.
Drowning has nothing to do with it precisely but I do feel like I am going under water and not finding any way out of life. I feel like I am drowning to an extent because I don't feel like I am breathing or coming up for any air.
I feel like I am just living life. I have actually come to a great solution to explain my life and life in general.
Living is bizarre... but what else could it be?
It can be spent living in sorrow, living in mourn, living in anything but in all living is only living...
You don't get kiddos to you when you do something right and you don't get a little pat on the back when you do something for a common good. Living is like trying to get away from the pool because you can't swim. Living is like you are drowning in all this mourn, sadness, and sorrow.
That's actually living for me.
Swimming used to be a common thing I would do but now I haven't been to the pool. I haven't swam any of my feelings away.
****
"Alright, You guys I know you are really excited to be here but come on and settle down," Mr. Grimes says. He is standing in front of me. I am sitting down in my plane seat. The plane ride was only two hours long but we had to take it because we can't travel across the water without a boat.
"Which I know is really hard because this is already your second time on this trip in a plane," Mr. Grimes adds in a faint whisper.
