It Starts with Hello ◇Drew Dirksen AU

Chapter Twenty Eight.

Dedicated to all my readers and Tiders. Love you all for keeping up with this book, voting, commenting and it's crazy how far it's coming to right now. 

Love you all and the song up on top is the perfect song for being in the middle of the book!!

Chapter Twenty Eight.

Drew's POV

Lao Tzu said, "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,  while loving someone deeply gives you courage." 

Lao isn't me. I can't go along with his words at all. It doesn't make any sense to me to be honest. I don't have courage. I have gained courage, yes, but I don't have that much. I gained courage to kiss Violet and look where that got me.

I am sitting on this couch with her right beside me and she is sleeping on my shoulder. We didn't kiss afterward but just laid there in each other's arms. She kept trying to talk but when she did I would stroke her hair with my hand to make her stop. She told Nate we didn't have anything going on. 

I see where she got that but I don't know why I have to sit here and know she is lying to herself. What is this is just a game for her? What if she doesn't like me at all? What if she just wants to see how I act and then make fun of me? What if she wants to hate me because of all the bad things I have thought? What if-

What if she breaks my heart?

I know that is a common thing of what a girl thinks but what if she does? What if we break each others hearts like what she said?

Nope. Courage can't get the best of me right now. Courage is for those who want to be heroes and be an importance to the world. Me. I don't need to be important. I just want to be a normal person again.

I look at Violet and she looks so peaceful as she sleeps on my shoulder. Her hands are snuggled onto my chest. I move them slightly and then swiftly I get up. 

I go to the table with all of our stuff on and get a piece of paper. I look at her again and tears are almost streaming down my face. I need to let her go. She will come back to me if it's right. She will. But I can't stay here much longer. 

I am begining to forget.

I sit down and grab my pencil. I think of who to write to. Not Violet. I dig deep inside and then thought of it.

Dear Mom,

I know I have been not writing lately. I know that i have been not doing much of anything lately but I do know that I want to say sorry. I am sorry for being such a bad son. I am sorry for doing not what you want me to do. I am sorry for the time that I was five and caught the living room on fire. I am sorry for the time I hid the raisins in the hotel couch when we went to Louisiana and lied about it. And I am sorry for being distant. Violet told me to write down my thoughts and to you originally because she believes it will help me through my thoughts.