How to Fall in Love in Three Easy Steps

Chapter 19

Saturday morning was hell, Jack's head pounding, his eyes puffy. Although the night before was blurry, he was certain something horrible had happened, something that would change his life. Rolling over, Jack pushed himself out of bed and stomped over towards the door, trying to ignore his cottony mouth and blinking phone. There was this feeling in the pit of his stomach that made Jack ignore his cellphone, even though he usually grabbed it first thing in the morning. He wasn't sure he would like what he would see. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted his black hoodie and slipped it over his head.

There was a calm outside, an eerie silence, as if someone had died. Jack padded out into the hallway, his bare feet thumping against the scratchy blue carpet. The bathroom was only a few yards away, but it seemed to be miles as Jack struggled to push on. All around him, he found people staring, their gazes full of shock and disbelief. Some whispered, their eyes trained on the tall, skinny boy who walked quickly, trying to ignore the sick in his stomach.

A decade later, Jack pushed the door open and leaned his head against the cool, grey tiles of the bathroom wall. A feeling of dread hung in the air over him like a foreboding cloud, threatening to spill over at any second. Jack found himself examining his bloodshot eyes, ringed with dark circles and his day old scruff. Every inch of him looked exhausted and miserable, which was a valid reflection of what he felt inside.

It was another ten minutes before Jack mustered up the courage to leave the safety of the bathrooms and venture out into the jungle that lay behind that door. Each student was their own animal, and Jack was the prey, finding himself being inspected every second. Even as he left, he covered his head with his sweatshirt hoodie, hoping not to be judged by everyone outside.

Although he felt the urge to go see Alex, there was still the slight feeling of a disturbance, so Jack quietly tiptoed back to his room. As he was about to enter his dorm, he froze in the doorway, finding Darryl in the middle of a heated conversation, his back to Jack.

"No, please, Ryan, just listen to me. It's a bad idea if we see each other."

He paused for a second, his shoulders tense, and his hands clenched into fists.

"I know they said they won't tell!" he yelled, his voice raising an octave, "But better safe then sorry!"

Jack could hear another voice screaming as Darryl tried to speak, getting cut off each time. Then the other voice became quiet once again and Jack could practically feel the three words being uttered.

"Please, don't," Darryl whimpered, a choked sound escaping his throat, "Don't make this hard."

There was more muffled shouting, another awkward silence, sniffles in the air.

"You know I do."

It was quiet enough for Jack to hear the man on the other end yell, "Then fucking say it!"

"Fine, I fucking love you ok? I've loved you for months now, and it all got fucked up and now this is dangerous! We have to stop," he cried, wiping his nose with his oversized sweatshirt sleeve.

They spoke in hushed tones for a minute before Darryl squeaked a goodbye. Another second went by of pure, deadly noiselessness, the silence ringing around them. Jack was about to step into the room when Darryl launched his phone at the wall, knocking into his dresser and bouncing to the floor. He put his head in his hands muttering a string of curses before turning around and pushing everything off his night stand and onto the floor, where he began kicking them around violently. Jack stepped forward a bit, hearing the floor creak beneath him. Darryl stopped his violent rampage and spun around towards Jack, his eyes widening, quickly wiping the tears off of his cheeks.