How to Fall in Love in Three Easy Steps

Chapter 22

Perhaps it was the bitter December finally getting to him, but suddenly Alex wondered as to why he had ever broken it off with Jack. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about him for the past few weeks, because he had times when he ached for Jack's presence and longed for his touch, but this time was different. The thoughts hit him like a bag of bricks, memories of Jack's lips haunting him. Ever since he had brushed Jack off, there was a hollow forming in his stomach, a piece of him missing. Life without Jack was shitty and there was a strong desire to go crawling back. Yet when Alex wasn't with Jack, the comments and disgusted looks decreased in numbers. Even Greg hadn't left him a nasty text with a derogatory comment inside in a whole week. However, his mom was still on edge, watching him closely, searching through his phone every once in a while. At the thought of his mom, Alex felt like he was being stabbed, every inch of him burning white hot.

Someone knocked on Alex's door, breaking him out of his thoughts. He sat on his bed bewildered for a few seconds before standing up and brushing off his pants. Quietly, he opened the door a crack to find a smiling Darryl looking back at him, chubby cheeks glistening with joy.

"Yo, Alex! Happy birthday!" Darryl exclaimed while pushing past Alex into his room.

"Thank you," Alex choked.

Today, he turned 18, and knew he should have been happy, but instead felt more alone than ever.

"So, what are we doing today?"

"I don't know, I didn't know we were gonna do anything," Alex murmured.

"Come on, man. Every year we go out and have some fun."

Alex shrugged and sputtered, "Sorry."

"Are you okay? You seem pretty off."

"I'm fine."

"Does it have anything to do with Jack?"

There was a complete silence for seconds, Alex's mouth moving but no sound coming out.

"Listen, I know about you two and I think that you guys have been through enough shit already. Do you really not want him?"

"I-I-'

Alex felt his eyes well up with tears and quickly swiped then away.

"I don't k-know," he whispered.

"You're lying," Darryl stated coolly.

"No I'm not!" Alex shouted, his voice raising an octave.

Darryl gave him a quizzical look and sat down on the bean bag chair, plucking a loose thread from his shirt.

"You're in denial, dude. If you don't like him, then why do you always look so red in the face when you talk to him?"

Once again, Alex couldn't speak.

"It seems like you really like him."

"I do," Alex said, surrendering.

"Then what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm trying not to get hurt, I guess."

"'You guess'? Come on Alex, make up your mind. And do it quick."

Darryl stood up and left quite suddenly, leaving Alex alone once again. As nothingness entered the air again, Alex found himself tugging at his own hair, strands of brownish-gold clung to his fingers, littering the floor. It seemed as if the pain was consuming him whole, overtaking his senses until everything was black and his ears screamed with the ringing. The next thing her knew, he was back in his bed once again.

--

Ringing filled his skull again, rattling his brain, dancing around his ears. He fished around in his pockets for his vibrating phone, attempting to pull it out. When he finally managed to pick up, he could barely manage a weak hello.