Chapter 37 ~ Liam

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Chapter 37 ~ Liam

She was there. She was right there. If I wanted to—and I did—I could have reached out and touched her skin. But I didn’t, because…well, I don’t know why. She looked like gorgeous even when she looked like a mess, and I knew I looked the same if not worse. I don’t know how to…live without her. I feel like I’m not myself without her; that I’m just watching myself live from another person’s perspective with her not with me. I hate it, I hate it, and I would do anything to have her in my apartment right now.

I text Amabel asking her what’s going on and if she’s heard from Parker. She doesn’t answer for ten minutes, and then she sends me this:

SHE’S HERE NOW. DON’T WORRY. –AMABEL

My heart stops. She’s there? Should I go over there?

DON’T COME. I’LL TELL HER TO COME & TALK 2 U. –AMABEL

I sigh. I miss her so damn much I wonder how I’m functioning, if it’s only barely. I hope for nothing more than for Parker to come here so I can tell her how much I need her. Does she feel the same? I ruined her image with the public, and that’s something I’ll regret forever.

I don’t get a text from Amabel after that, and I begin to worry. I clean the apartment as best I can, which consists of stuffing all the dirty clothes in the hamper, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, tidying  up the front room and I even have enough time to take a shower. If she doesn’t show, I’ll be done. I’ll break for good. I’ll know that she’ll never want to speak to me again and I don’t think I could handle that.

Music calms me, so I turn on the radio and the song immediately catches my attention.

“She fell to the bottom of her life, this wasn't meant for two. She struggles to find herself in time but she can barely move.

Just try and get up, you gotta slowly brush off

I know that words aren't enough but you're better than this

Save your heart for someone that's worth dying for

Don't give it away

Torn apart, never getting what you've been crying for

It's always the same

She turns the pages everyday just to change the mood

But every chapter reads the same, it's so hard to make it through

Just try and get up, you gotta slowly brush off

I know that words aren't enough but you're better than this

Save your heart for someone that's worth dying for

Don't give it away

Torn apart, never getting what you've been crying for

It's always the same.”

There was a knock on the door, and I ran to open it, wanting to see her so desperately. There she was, looking just as beautiful as the last time I saw her. I had to refrain from bringing her into my arms and kissing her. But the look she gave me told me not to. I just smiled shyly and opened the door for her. Was she going to tell me she never wanted to see me again?

“There’s a lot we have to talk about.” Parker said, sitting down. I didn’t know how close I was supposed to sit by her, so I just sat down a foot or two away. Her chin trembled and I frowned, close to tears myself at the sight of her so upset. “I miss you.” She whispered, trying not to cry.

I scooted an inch closer. “I miss you too.” It was nothing but the truth. I missed her, I missed her so much it kept me up at night.

"But that doesn’t make it okay. I admit, there are so many things that you could have done to make things worse, and I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but that doesn’t change what you did. People have been telling me…terrible things, and I hate it. I hate it so much Liam,” she pleaded, meeting my eyes. “I feel like, I feel almost as if this is what Garrett went through, what his life was like. I know it’s nothing in comparison, but now I know what’s it’s like for people to hate you when you did nothing. Garrett wasn’t in the wrong, and the people, the fans, are making me feel like I committed a crime. I’ve been rethinking everything I’ve ever done to see what I did to make them hate me but I can’t. It’s driving me crazy.” At this point tears are streaming down her cheeks and I’m all choked up.

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