Being the best

Confusion and Forgiveness

Tosia continued to drag me up the stairs until we finally reached her room. However just outside her closed door with the name number plate hanging of it ,(which took god knows how long to find), she stopped me and said " Don't judge me" and that was it, I squinted at her and she just shook her head and opened the door.
Oh my God.
Her room was a tip, and I don't mean just the usual mess of a teenage girls room, NO, I mean a pig sty! I physically couldn't get across it to get to her bed. I mean we all have that one chair where we pile all our clean and dirty clothes on but this was literally her whole room. Her thongs were attached to her sparkly blue walls and she hadn't even thought about putting them away! She noticed my face and quickly made a wild dash at her underwear as everything under her feet cracked, which I hoped was just hangers and not the vinyls she had borrowed of me a few weeks ago. She grabbed her underwear looked about her for the dirty washing bin, couldn't see it evidently as she quickly shoved it under the clothes on the floor. She then looked up at me as I stood there with one hand on my hip and a disapproving look on my face. Tosia just smirked and flopped back in her bed and then said "Draw me like one of your French Girls, Jack". I chucked her hairbrush as her.

Two hours later and her room looked somewhat back to normality. Her dirty clothes where in the washing basket and her clean stuff were hanging back up in her wardrobes and chest of drawers and other drawers. And her underwear was now SECURELY in the washing basket. (Thank God!) I mean don't get me wrong, I've seen her in her undies we are very good friends and when we have gone out drinking together we have peed in front of each other, however it's only when you are faced with it straight up, that you kinda get a bit concerned. Anyways, we were now sitting on her bed as she attempted a Pinterest hair tutorial thing with my hair, it wasn't going successfully but I wasn't going to complain because the way to my heart is to play with my hair! As she attempted the up do she told me about her love life (or the none existence of it) and how she was positive that if she went out running at the exact same time as the guy three door's down that they would have an epic  love story.  She even told me when he goes running and what he wears but I had to remind her that running in England is more of a seasonal thing as the weather is very temperamental so she should probably do something that meant that she would have to see him a bit more than the 6 weeks of sun we get per year! However she is determined and I admire her dedication as I do not believe in exercise.  But then it all changed when it came to me.

Now I'm fine with talking about other people or other people's relationship's but as soon as you get to me I'm out of there! So she asked me the inevitable question and when I said that I was still single. She didn't say anything but just nodded but looked at me as though I should keep talking so there was this little awkward moment where we were waiting on the other person to speak but neither of us were sure what to say. So finally I chose to speak. "It's just, I don't want to be in a relationship until I totally know the guy and yeah I have seen hot guys and stuff, it's just not right at the moment and I have so much going on and I mean imagine how my mum would cope if I started going out with someone again. She would be so protective over me because everything with Nathan, you know." Tosia just stared at me and then said "cicho bądź." Now i'm no expert in Polish but I know for a fact that means be quiet because her mum is always saying it to her. I looked at her and shrugged and she shook her head at me disapprovingly " This is all about Nathan isn't it. You are scared of letting anyone else in because of what happened between you and Nathan and you are scared that they will break you and then break you're mum. It's okay to be frightened and it's okay to not want to move on if you loved this guy but seriously you are not allowed to mope. So i'm going to go cheesy , there's a proverb that my mum used to say and it's Historia sie powtarza, which means that emm... let me think to translate it. Emm History will repeat itself. But it mean's more like, It will happen again, like you will find love again and this time it will be better than last time."

I looked at her and just nodded because in spite of her rather harsh wake up call she does make sense. However she broke the mood when she pushed my head of her and said "Let's go get cake." I nodded and followed her downstairs.