Old Love Dies Hard (spinoff of life happens)

Chapter XIV - The Dinner And The Fight

Important A/N

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"Oh especially the uptown funk cover. That one is my favorite" Kim says, sitting all poised like she's a descendant of Queen Victoria herself

"Right Amelia?" She looks at me

"Uh yeah" I reply without paying a single ounce of attention to the conversation because my stupid mind won't stop turning it's gears.

I'm sitting here, motionless, and my brain is frozen and there is no one to thaw it.
My eyes are fixed on my fidgeting hands, and I desperately try to move a muscle. To laugh at one of his jokes, to hit him because of making fun of me, but I can't.
I just can't.
Q: Why does it matter to me so much that he doesn't know the new me?
A: I don't want him to know me now because I know he will be disappointed.

I check the time: 2 hours to go for the dinner.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get ready" I announce as I get up but Mason stops me

"Hey, where are you going? You take like half an hour to get ready. Sit down" he nudges me

"Not anymore. I take a lifetime now" I try to crack a joke but he doesn't laugh.
Doesn't even lift a corner of his mouth and it weakens me a little inside.
I walk away.

I know, I effing know, it's a little thing but it means so so much to me and him.

I decide not to think about the dinner for I don't want to inflict more torture on my poor mind.

I know the dinner is going to be weird.
I take out a pair of black ripped jeans and a white t- shirt.
I hop in the shower and stay there for almost an hour, trying to wash my worries away so I can wave them goodbye as they go down the drain but sadly the only thing I say goodbye to is a bunch of my hair

They say hair loss is a sign of stressing too much and I snort, what stress? I think they mean it's a sign of life because according to me, life a.k.a stress.

I come out of the shower, change my clothes and curl my hair into place. I put on makeup and match my outfit with black heels.

I see a scarf lying on the other side of the room and as if on bloody instinct my feet take me over to the scarf. It's been so hard to not just go there and wrap it around me and change into some more comfortable clothes and shoes and just take of this makeup and just be...me.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and hold my head in my hands.
This is the first time in a year that I've thought like this.
I knew it. I knew that I was bringing this on to myself. I'm the one who is responsible for feeling like this. I knew exactly how I would feel if Mason was back. I didn't want him to come because of the same reason that I didn't want my mom or grandma to come.
God knows which part of the stupid little Amna crawled into me that day and I said yes. I felt hopeful that day.
Stupid stupid me. Always being optimistic. Well it's not actually me being optimistic, it's her, it's that part of me that I've been trying to get rid of.

"Amy it's about time, get here!" Kim shouts from downstairs and I get up and check myself in the mirror once more, honestly, to a third eye, I would look pretty hot but to me I look like cow dung.

I walk down the stairs, the stupid Amna crawling in again and hoping that Mason looks at me the same way he did when I first went to his place

"Everyone ready?" I say as I enter. Mason looks at me and his eyes hold an emotion that I can't put my finger on but one thing is for sure, it isn't the same way he looked at me before.
Maybe it's even more.
His eyebrows raise to his hairline and he clearly sucks in a breathe.