Mass Effect One Shots

Birthday Party

 I am so so so sorry I have not been updating. I've been so busy these past few months. But I graduate tomorrow so I will have a lot more time to write stories! This one I wrote a while ago... sorry for the quality.

Also, I got on today and looked at my story and noticed that I have 1.4K reads!!! THANK YOU

"We need to plan this very carefully, the Commander takes notice of everything." Samara said.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Asari." Jack huffed.

"Jack calm down, Samara's right." Miranda rolled her eyes.

"Shut it, cheerleader." Miranda hated when Jack called her that but she wasn't about to go start a fight with her. That was just suicide.

"Well who wants to take care of the guests?" Kasumi said.

"I can," Said Tali. "I know who Shepards friends are mostly."

"Does Shepard even have friends?" Jack said. Everyone ignored her.

"I will take care of all of the decorations. Miranda, Samara, do you wanna help me?" They both nodded at the hooded girl.

"EDI, can you and Liara keep Shepard away from the apartment until we are done?" Kasumi asked.

"We can try." EDI replied.

"Well what does that leave?" Samara asked quietly.

"Uh food?" Jack piped up.

"You can take care of that then." Miranda said. Jack muttered something along the lines of "Whatever." and "of course I get the shitty jobs."

"Alright well, let's start getting ready. Kasumi, Miranda, and Samara have the decorations. Jacks got food, EDI and Liara are on Shepard, and lastly I am on invitations. That sound good?" Everyone nodded their heads and started to leave. "Wait! Are we inviting boys?"

"We can invite them but we should kick them out after a while. I have read about something called 'girl time' and I would like to experience it." EDI said.

"What about girl time EDI?" Shepard walked in and everyone struggled to look natural. Liara and Samara sat down on the floor and started meditating, Miranda and Kasumi started talking about something random, Jack awkwardly stood there, and Tali and EDI looked at the Commander.

"Well Shepard, EDI was telling me about how she has never had girl time and she wanted to try it. She was scared to ask you to spend it with her." Tali quickly said. Shepard could tell something was up but she decided to roll with it.

"EDI, let's go have some girl time then." Tali looked relieved Shepard bought the lie.

"May I come along as well, Shepard?" Liara asked. Shepard motioned for them to follow.

The next few hours for Miranda, Samara, and Kasumi were spent hanging streamers and balloons, sprinkling glitter all over the floor, and placing random assorted party supplies everywhere. Every time someone would accidentally let a balloon go, Samara would biotically pull it back down. After the first half hour, three incidents had occurred. The first one was with Kasumi fell off the balcony by trying to hang streamers but luckily Samara caught her before she hit the ground. The second one, when Miranda got stuck underneath the stairs by attempting to find a cool place for the lights. Lastly, they all sucked so much helium they all about passed out. Luckily they calmed down in time to finish the decorations before everyone arrived.

Tali was having fun. All she was doing was writing invitations and then delivering them. It was taking quite a bit of time but she loved seeing everyone. On the boys invitations, she wrote that the party was only two hours. For all the girls it said that after two hours, they were all to leave and come back ten minutes later with sleeping gear. Tali hoped Shepard wouldn't get mad at them for throwing her a birthday party.

For Jack, things weren't going so well. In the course of an hour she had managed to upset three separate stores and got kicked out of four. So far she only had a small amount of vodka. She believed drinking was more important than food. But, she figured that Tali and Kasumi would kill her if she didn't bring some sort of food back. So she went into the next store hoping she wouldn't get into too much trouble.

EDI and Liara were in constant worry. They were in charge of keeping their Commander preoccupied while everyone was getting ready. The only problem was that while they were running around with Shepard doing small missions for people, Jack and Tali were also on the Citadel. Liara was constantly checking behind her to make sure they weren't there, and EDI would scan the crowd every few minutes or so. As the hours pressed on, they became less worried. Shepard decided she wanted to get a new set of armor for her birthday. They walked into the store and Liara saw someone she was dreading most to see.

Jack.

Jack was standing at the register talking to a Salarian.

"What is she doing here?" Liara whispered to EDI.

"It seems she is buying a gun."

"Well yes, I see that but she is supposed to be getting food!"

"Jack? What are you doing here?" Shepard walked up to Jack and rested her hand on the counter. Jack looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

"I am just buying this cool new gun..." She quickly paid for the one she was holding and shoved it into her bag.

"Can I see it?"

"No!" Jack said quickly but when Shepard gave her a questioning look she said, "Just not yet. I want to mess with the upgrades when we get back to the Normandy. I'm going to make it awesome in a fight." and with that she grabbed all of the bags that were around her feet and walked straight out the door.

"You guys think she's acting odd?"

"Nope," Said Liara a little too quickly.

"My sensors say she is on what the humans call a 'menstrual cycle'."

"EDI you don't just say that out loud." They left the store and both Liara and EDI were glad Shepard bought the lies. Maybe the commander didn't know what was going on.

Shepard totally knew what was going on. Everyone was acting so strange. Menstrual cycle? Really EDI? And girl time? They were trying to keep her from going back to the apartment.

As soon as Kasumi had placed the last decoration, Jack, Grunt, Zaeed, and Wrex walked into the door.

"Welcome! I suggest finding somewhere to hide so you can surprise Shepard." Kasumi said. Zaeed was carrying a very large bag with him which worried Miranda but she decided not to say anything. Next came Tali, Garrus, Javik, and Specialist Traynor. Kasumi decided that instead of Jack putting out the food she should place it. After the food was all out, Thane, Jacob, James, and Kaiden came. Kasumi immediately walked over to James and started talking. Everyone else arrived pretty soon after that and five minutes later, Liara sent a message to Miranda that Shepard was coming right then.

"Everyone quickly hide!" Miranda shouted and everyone scrambled to find a good hiding place. Grunt and Wrex kept cursing at everything because they couldn't hide behind anything from how big they were, Kasumi went completely invisible while Samara floated in the air. Miranda turned off the lights and everyone was deathly silent. The door slowly opened and Shepard carefully walked in.

"Surprise!" Everyone shouted and jumped from where they were hiding as EDI switched on the lights. There was a boom and confetti rained from the ceiling. Everyone turned around to see Jack holding the gun she had bought earlier.

"Awesome." was all she said.