Confusion

Chapter Fourteen

As we walked hand in hand through the large automatic doors, I looked around me. Patients were walking through the hallways with their drips, some alone, some with family members. Then I instantly felt a pang of guilt inside me. My mum was alone. She had nobody with her in hospital, and I was just living my incredible life without a care in the world for her.

I was shocked back into reality when I realised we were at a small reception desk.

An old woman was situated behind it, with knitting needles and wool on her lap.

"Hello, please can you tell me where Desley Johnson is?" asked Trish, taking control of the whole situation, given that she had no other choice.

The woman smiled sadly up at us, obviously aware of my mother's condition and looked over at the computer screen to her right.

"Room 42, just down that hall there dear" she answered, pointing down a dimly lit corridor on our right.

"Thank you" replied Trish thankfully and she lead us off in the direction of mum's room.

When we reached the door, a doctor approached us. He was a talk, dark skinned man, with a bald head and incredibly white teeth.

He smiled sympathetically at us as he stopped just in front of where we were stood.

"Hello, I'm doctor Lanson, are you here for Desley?" he asked politely, looking to me.

I answered yes almost immediately, wanting to see mum before it was too late.

"Are you all relatives?" he inquired, looking up kindly to Trish and Richard before smiling at Robby.

"I'm her daughter" I explained, "This is her brother and his wife, and this is my boyfriend". I gestured towards each of them and he nodded.

"Okay, well you can go in and see her, but please be mindful of her condition, she may not be awake, she will find it difficult to speak, but I think it's okay for you to see her now" he answered, opening up the door slowly and standing back so that we could go in.

The room was quite small, there were only two beds in it and the other was made up, leaving mum in there by herself.

As soon as I saw her it was like I never left. Like I was with her just the night before. Her dirty blonde hair was spread out slightly on the pillow beneath her head. Her fringe had gotten thinner since I had last seen her, meaning that she seemed older. Her once tanned and lightly sculpted arms were now limp and lifeless, and her hands were trembling slightly.

I rushed over to the bedside chair immediately, Robby standing behind me, as I leaned across and pushed back her fringe.

"Mum?" I whispered softly. I didn't want to wake her if she was still sleeping.

Her eyes snapped open immediately, which shocked me slightly. As she locked eyes with mine, we just sat there, staring at each other for what seemed to be ages. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was. That I shouldn't have left her in the first place and that none of this would have happened if it weren't for me leaving. But a part of me didn't want to break the eye contact.

Then her eyes flickered over to Richard, who was perched at the foot of the bed, looking over at us sympathetically.

She used to tell me when we lived together that when they were younger, her and Richard never really got on and that it stayed that way. But the way that she was looking at him told me that she confided in him. She looked scared, like she wanted to know what was happening to her and I could see the way he was looking back at her.