Phan One-shots

Somewhere Only We Know- Phil's POV

~This one is based off of the song "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. This song always makes me think of Dan, mainly because it was in the trailer for the Winnie the Pooh movie that came out a couple years ago. Enjoy~

  I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete  

I walk through the woods, taking in the still emptiness. I know exactly where I'm going; every twist, every turn, every tree. I could walk this path with my eyes closed. After I come past a certain point, I take my shoes and socks off, and hold them in my hands, knowing that the path was smooth from here on.

We used to always do this when we were kids, remember?

I take in the feeling of the cool forest ground on my feet; it's just the beginning of fall, and the weather is getting cooler now. The leaves are shades of red and orange and yellow, littering the ground. 

I look behind me to see that you're following, also holding your shoes in your hands.

You still remember.

I sit down by the river we would always sit by, laughing, watching turtles and fish as they would swim by. In the winter we would even see the occasional otter. (on a side note, this could definitely happen, as we get river otters in the creek in my backyard in the winter)

As we sit by the river, memories come over me. Memories of when we were kids and we would come and explore these woods; it was our secret place. Memories of us as teenagers. 

Memories of when you were happy.

Memories of when you laughed.

When you smiled.

When you spoke to me freely.

  Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin  

We're 25 now, and it's been 7 years since we were last here, just before we left for uni. It's been a year since we've talked- really talked. I noticed a year ago that the light in your eyes went out. What happened?

You always shrug it off. 

"Nothing's wrong- I'm fine, Phil." You said at first.

"Phil, stop asking." You started saying after a while.

"Stop trying to pry into my life, Phil! I'm fine!" You now yell when I try to ask what's wrong.

Why won't you let me in, Dan?

Did I do something wrong?

I'm your best friend, your boyfriend. We're supposed to tell each other everything, right?

Its started to exhaust me. I worry about you all the time. It's all I think about- what I could do to bring the light back in your eyes. The smile back to your face. There's nothing I wouldn't give to hear your laugh again.

  I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?  

We get up and keep walking. I reach out to take your hand, but you pull it away.

My heart breaks a little more.

I see a tree trunk sitting on the ground. It looks familiar, is it....

It is. The place we sat when we had our first kiss. Where we would talk about anything and everything. 

Seeing this place again, it feels like a dream. Our first kiss- it all feels like it was a dream, or a film I watched. 

I sit down and pat the spot next to me. You sit down.

"Do you remember this place, Dan?"

You concentrate your brown eyes on the ground. "It was where we had our first kiss..." you mumble.

You remember.

  And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?  

I had taken you here by surprise- I think you were happy about it, though, judging by what looked like a hint of a smile on your face.

I took you to a place where we could be alone, to a place no one but us knows about. 

So we can talk.

Because I don't want us to end, Dan.

Please.

  Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin  

"Dan," I begin. "Dan, please talk to me. Please let me in. It's been a year since we last talked- really talked. What's wrong? Please, just let me. Tell me what happened."

You look at me- thoughtfully, not angrily like you usually do. 

"I-I don't know how to explain it, Phil." 

At least you don't yell. We're getting somewhere.

"It's just that-" and you start crying.

Sobbing.

Wailing.

I scoot over and hold you, allowing you cry into my shoulder. I rub your back, kissing you on the top of your head. You try to speak, but all that comes out is gibberish and mumbles.

"I juft-" sob, "I ha-" another sob. Difficulty breathing, followed by the hiccuping noises people make when they cry hard. 

"Hush, Dan. You don't have to talk right this second. We'll talk when you calm down a bit."

  And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go?
So why don't we go?  

An hour passes, and I finally understand why you're crying, and what you're trying to say.

"I hate myself, Phil. Everything about myself. I don't know why or how it started. I don't know what brought it on."

You showed me the red marks all up and down your arms. Your legs. Your stomach. And I cried, and held you closer. 

My precious Dan.

My bear. 

Why would you hurt yourself like this?

But finally now I know.

I can work with you.

I can bring the light back.

My Dan back.

I kiss you softly. "I love you, Dan. Thank you, for telling me."

"I love you, too, Phil."

Wow, no one died. That's a rarity for me 0_0