Phan One-shots

History- Phil's POV

This one is based off of the song "History" by This Wild Life. Enjoy~

You should not get what you have not earned
What I do from here is none of your concern
It didn't work, yeah I know it hurts
But it's gotta give before it gets much worse

"But I deserve an explanation!" You yelled, staring at my bags and the keys I was handing to you.

"No, Dan. No, you don't." I responded, handing you my pair of keys to the flat. "You haven't earned any explanation."

"Where are you going to go, Phil?" You asked, desperate to make me stay.

"It doesn't matter. I'm cutting all ties with you, Dan. What I do from now on doesn't matter. You have to get better on your own, I can't help you anymore, I'm sorry."

I heard your cries as I walked out the door, and it broke my heart. It almost broke my resolve, but I kept walking, despite your broken voice calling my name. I got on a train, riding back home to Rawtenstall, my head against the window, and I cried.

It hurts me more than it hurts you, Dan. But I had to leave, it was too much, you refused to get better, and I couldn't keep myself in a place where I would keep getting hurt again and again. And I knew it would only get worse.

Oooh, gotta give up on you, oooh
Oooh, gotta give up on you, on you

There comes a point, where I have to say, "No more. I can't do this anymore." A point where, no matter how painful, I have to give up. And I have reached that point, and I'm sorry, Dan.

I've given up. And I'm so, so sorry.

We've got a lot of history
But there's too much space between you and me
You have plans, yeah I have dreams
But do I have the guts in me
To leave, leave, pack my shit and leave
Leave, leave

We've been best friends for years, we have so many memories together. So many good times, and as I ride on the train, I look through my phone at all the pictures we took together, and I smile a little.

But there's too much distance between us, an insurmountable distance, that no bride can reach across and connect.

You have plans to change, but that's all they'll ever be: plans. Never actions, just plans. But I have dreams, dreams and things that I am working to accomplish, but you were dragging me down, Dan. I still love you, I will always love you, but I can't do this anymore.

I was at war with myself for weeks before I finally packed my things. The entire time I questioned if I did the right thing; I still do, as I ride on the train, every second, every turn of the train wheels, taking me further and further away from you.

The irony gets the best of me
I'm sad that we split, but you're still happy
What I gave to you was more than memories
What you took from me wasn't worth anything

It's been a month since I left, and even though we don't speak, I still keep up with you on social media. For a week you tried to text me and call me multiple times a day, but then you got the message. From what I see, you're happy.

Even though I go about in a constant sadness from missing you. You've found a new lover, replacing me so quickly and easily.

It hurts, it's like being stabbed in the heart.

I guess all I was to was another person, just some memories to get down from the shelf, dust off, and look at every once in a while.

Yet you took so much out of me.

Oooh, gotta give up on you, oooh
Oooh, gotta give up on you, on you

Giving up on you was the hardest decision that I have ever made. Yet, it was probably the best thing I could have done for myself.

We've got a lot of history
But there's too much space between you and me
You have plans, yeah I have dreams
But do I have the guts in me
To leave, leave, pack my shit and leave
Leave, leave, oh

So many memories that hurt to look at.

So many bad times that hurt just as much.

And now my life dreams are coming true, and I look at my YouTube subscriber count, and I can't help but think that you should be celebrating with me. I always dreamed that we might have a channel together, that we could share in this together.

I have a box in my closet, of all of my "Dan things" from when we were together. I haven't looked at it in the year since I left, but I take it down, and look at everything. Ticket stubs from films we went to go see, pictures, stupid drawings you made me. I smile at all the memories.

I want you back.

But is it good. For both of us?

You never cared enough, you never earned my trust
You just took what you could get
You never lift me up, I never feel your love
I know exactly what this is

You just, you took everything out of me. I never felt like I could trust you. I gave you all my love, but I felt like you never gave in return.

I'm tired of the weight when you lean on me
If I fell you would never stay to carry me

I let you lean on me when you needed me. Yet I feel like you wouldn't have been there to support me if I needed it.

So I put down the phone that I had dialed your number into.

We've got a lot of history
But there's too much space between you and me
You have plans, yeah I have dreams
But do I have the guts in me
To leave, leave, pack my shit and leave
Leave, leave, oh

To much hurt.

Too much distance.

Things that time cannot heal.

I left you, and it still hurts, but it was for the best.

I love you

And I'm sorry.