Living

Chapter 10-

Judith's has been really fussy from being separated from Tyreese. I've tried everything Beth did back at the prison and nothing is working. It's not what would Beth do it's what would Lillie do?

"Someway baby, it's part of me, apart from me

You're laying waste of halloween

You fucked it friend, it's in your head, it struck the street

You're in Milwaukee, get off your feet

And once I knew I was not magnificent

Straight above the highway

Jagged vacance, thick with ice

But I could see for miles, miles, miles

Third and lake it burnt away, the hallway

Was where we learned to celebrate

Automatic bought the years you'd took from me

The night you played me 'Lip Parade'

Not the needle, nor the thread, the lost decree

Saying nothing, that's enough for me

And at once I knew I was not magnificent

Hulled far from the highway

Jagged vacance, thick with ice

But I could see for miles, miles, miles

Christmas night, it clutched the light

The hallow bright

Above my brother, I untangled spines

We smoked the screen to make it what it was to be

And I don't know it in my memory

And once I knew I was not magnificent

High above the highway

Jagged vacance, thick with ice

But I could see for miles, miles, miles." she's silent. She's actually silent. That sounds horrible but her crying wouldn't keep me disguised as a walker. I look under the cloak to see she's not just keeping quiet she asleep. 

I see a walker with it's jaw just hanging from a few thick threads of skin. With every inch it gets closer to me the more disgusted I am from it's repelling figure. I draw my knife from it's holster marched up to the walker.

When I'm about to kill it I'm pulled to the ground by a different walker. It tries biting me but I put my hand on it's forehead and the other on it's neck trying to push it away from me. I lift up my right leg, my strongest leg, and kick it away from me. 

Without hesitation I plunge my knife into it's skull. I searched for my knife I thought when I grabbed the walker I dropped it near me but no. I threw it far from me.

I stand up up and dash for it but the walker I was meaning to kill in the first place knocks me on my back and crawl on top of me. It's jaw keeps hitting me in my mouth. My knee is propped up on the walkers stomach which is the only thing keeping the walker away from biting me. I spot my knife a few feet away from me, but there is a broken off branch next to me.

I pick it up and swing the the branch against the temple of the walker's head, knocking off my body into the dirt and the jaw fell from the walker and onto my mouth. That's fucking nasty, it's on me! On my mouth! What the hell! 

I rush to my feet, swinging the branch into the head over and over again until it's dead. Wait where is the other walker? Not that far from me the walker was up against a tree. I look closer and a low branch was impaled into it's chest.

I walk over to my knife and pick it up and crouch next to the stomach of the mother fucker. Without hesitation rip off the shirt and plunge my knife into its abdomen and pulling up. I put both of my hands inside and put blood, intestines, everything all over my body. 

I've always hated smelling gross and right now the more I stink the happier I am because there's a chance the walkers won't actually kill me or even try.

Well here I go. Off to save my group. My family.

--

I place the Macro firework in my sniper rifle and aim for the gas tank that keeps Terminus running.

Aim and shoot. Aim and shoot. Aim and shoot. You can do this Lillie. It's not like haven't done this before. Just do it. They're not innocent. Even though you've killed the innocent before. You haven't just the innocent you've killed children. Children who couldn't even fight back.

Fire. I jump back behind a rock and cover Judith's ears not caring about myself.

RING is what I hear- all I hear- am I deaf? The ringing stopped but I still can't hear. I try to gather my thoughts but it's difficult, there's so many distractions. Walkers that don't know I'm a living person surround me limping their way to Terminus. 

Without thinking I limp my way, not having to pretend, into the herd and follow their lead. Screams flood my ears from every direction. With every scream I whip my head in the direction it came from.

There's ping of guilt in my stomach, not for the Terminus members, but for my family, for Judith. Why would I bring her with me? She would have been safer with Tyreese back at the cabin. I guess... it's because I want to the hero or because I just didn't feel that it was safe for her to be there with that man. 

I only had two choices, leave Judith with an unknown man who could kill her but have a trusted man who would fight for her, that's present. Or, she would come with me and I'd know if she was safe or not. It was the choice of knowing and not knowing.

To my left is walker that's on fire eating a man's face and to my right is a walker who's feasting on a woman's neck. What have I gotten myself and my group into? For all I know they could've been safe but that's highly unlikely. But who knows right? Either way I ruined someone's life today.