My Teenage girl Rant Book

IDK anymore

Hey guys.

I honestly don't know what to say.

LOL.

I mean, I always write about Ben, and I have a feeling that it gets annoying? it's a rant book, but oh well.

Is it bad to write about my life in this book? XD

Cause my friend Andrei got hella salty when I was telling him about Ben after school today. Like, damn boy, chill TF out.

I'm sorry that you don't get any attention from anyone, but it doesn't mean ya gotta be salty AF.

A couple weeks ago after prom, he did tell me through text that he's likes me for a while, but knew that he didn't have a chance cause ever since he found out that I liked Ben, he kinda gave up.

God that was awkward. Ugh.

Ever since he told me that, our friendship's been kinda awkward and weird. He's super tired or grumpy or just hella moody, then I get ticked off cause he's being all negative.

You know when you've had a best friend for a while, but things change and you know that it's different?

Yup, that's me. I mean, I never liked him that way ever, he's just my best friend.

That's probably why he's been so negative, cause I kinda rejected him, but not really cause he said it himself.

Yesterday we were hanging out with a few other people and I said "Well. yeah, if a truck was gonna run you over I'd push you out of the way." and he's like "Nah, I really don't mean that much to you obviously."

Like, what the fuck. Are you serious? I bought Starbucks for you last week, a grande mocha and a sandwhich cause you're my friend.

That actually was pretty sad to hear, cause he's been my friend since like a year ago.

So today after school, I was just hanging in the front outside with him and some other people, and I see Ben walk by with a few friends, and of course I'm like "Bae don't leave me!"

Btw, he got a haircut yesterday after school, and it looks fresh AF. It's gorgeous.

Anyways, when he was walking away, he looked back once so I turned to face my friend Kailee to just act like I wasn't looking at him AT ALL. Of course Kailee's cracking up at me like "Bruh, I know what you're doing."

After a few good seconds, he looks back AGAIN, and I wasn't expecting that, so my reflexes didn't react...

I hate making eye contact with someone I like, good GOD.

After that happened, I internally freaked out like "Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit what have I done I'm never coming back to school ever again."

After that happens, I'm just explaining to Andrei what just happened, and he's all like "Well, he could've just been looking around, not at you, why would he make eye contact that far away?"

His tone of voice was SO. SALTY. It was THE MOST rude, sarcastic voice I've ever heard from him talking to me. So I immediately respond with "Why are you so f*****g negative all the time now?" Cause honestly at this point, I'm pissed. He's like "What are you talking about?" As if he just didn't know.

I've been trying my best to help you, and you're being a total ass. If you're pissed, just straight up tell me.

I have a feeling he's still jealous that I never liked him. I honestly can't see us dating, like, it'd just be too awkward.

Maybe I'll just explain what happened in English, cause all this negativity isn't that fun.

Y'all know how we get random seats and such, and I sat in the 3rd seat on the very left row. Ben was sitting in the 1st seat in my row, and I was like "dang, I wish I got the seat in front of me." I mean, since he got a haircut, it was hard not to stare. Lol.