Fixed

Chapter Thirty-One

I looked at the blood that dripped slowly from my finger, my entire body felt numb withthin seconds.

The blood dripped slowly onto the floor, I watched it the entire time. 

I starred back at the reflection in the shard of glass. My mascara was running down my face. I had broke, cracked, everything I tried not to do for years.

All because of him. 

I looked back at the reflection. At me. 

Then I took the blade and dragged it lightly against the skin on my arm, just scratching it a little. 

I did the motion once more, however pressing down harder this time. 

I looked at the blood drip down onto my hand. I was in a daze, finally I snapped out of it.

I fell to the floor and fell asleep, I didn't realize how exhausted I was. 

I woke up to a garbage truck making a incredibly loud noise downstairs. I rolled over, I hadn't even made it to my mattress last night. I went into my bathroom and tried to wipe the makeup off my face, but I gave up after it didnt seem to budge. I finally just resorted to washing the dried blood off my hands. I looked at the sad face starring back at me in the mirror, could he have broken this one to so I wouldnt have to see myself.

Him.

I almost forgot about him. Of course, the main word is almost. 

I told myself we weren't meant to be together so many times, and of course now I was having trouble believing it. 

But I didn't want to be with him, or see him, or hear his thick accent. 

I didn't care what he did, or what college he was going to.

I didn't care what girl was clung to his waste.

I didn't care about Harry.

**

Harry's POV:

I sat by my phone, I wanted so badly to press the keys I memorized by heart.

But I couldn't, I couldn't be with her.

She was irresitable, but she had too many problems, and I didn't want to fuck her up.

It's funny, she predicted this.

Honestly, when she told me she knew I would leave her, I didn't believe her. But now I see what she meant. 

But even though I knew I couldn't be with her, I wanted her to be with me.

I wanted her to need me, I wanted to be the one to fix her broken wounds and make her love herself.

But I realized all I did was probably make her hate herself more, for the things I said to her. I made her open up to me and she couldn't trust me. I couldn't trust myself.

When she left that room last night, I debated leaving with Paige. I was thinking about this last night, I guess that's why I seemed off.

But when she left all I wanted was her to be next to me, I wanted to show her off as mine, but then I couldn't find her, and I was drunk, Fuck, why was I always drunk.

I followed her, but I couldn't find her. Then Zayn found me, it had only been 20 minutes. He told me where she was. 

Then I realized I couldn't be with her.

Then I realized I needed her, thats the problem with her.

I sprinted up to that bedroom, and kicked the door down. 

He was on her, kissing her. I felt my blood boil, I could feel the veins in my neck pop out, all I could see was red. 

I knew I hurt him really badly, and I meant to. He wasn't even concious when I left him. I couldn't help but feel like she could be mine everytime my fist met his skull.

Then when she woke up, and her eyes met mine. 

Then I said it.

 I loved her.

Love. 

It was a foreign word to me. 

And she spit it back at me, with hatred.

That's when I knew I had to leave, just because I was hurting her, more than she was hurting herself.

The problem was I loved her. 

The bigger problem is I love her.

I want nothing more than to see her on the kitchen counter, ready for a huge meal. But she wouldnt be there, and she never would be. She never would be mine.